tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76838820716154090162024-03-05T07:09:27.507-05:00All Strung OutOver-thinking everything since MCMXCnostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-27254947037127412202015-07-06T16:36:00.000-04:002015-07-06T16:36:04.145-04:00America HonoredJuly 4th – Independence Day for Americans, Saturday for the rest of the world – marked the end of three weeks spent honoring America:<br />
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<br />
Before we go back to dishonoring America, I want to share a few words in praise of prose about flags – specifically, in praise of presidential proclamations celebrating the American flag.<sup>1</sup><br />
<br />
I've read the last 70 years of presidential Flag Day proclamations. They're brief and simple and often follow the same pattern. Usually, they open with the creation of the American flag in 1777. The Continental Congress resolved: "that the flag of the thirteen United States be thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the Union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new constellation."<br />
<br />
After citing this in his proclamation, the president will list various sightings of the American flag:<br />
<br />
<i><u>Ronald Reagan</u></i><sup>2</sup><br />
when the British surrendered to General Washington at Yorktown<br />
when our soldiers battled at Iwo Jima<br />
when Admiral Peary reached the North Pole<br />
the Marne<br />
the Moon<br />
on the side of the Space Shuttle Columbia as she circled the Earth<br />
<br />
<i><u>Bill Clinton</u></i><br />
over smoky battlefields and peaceful demonstrations<br />
the beaches of Normandy<br />
the jungles of Vietnam<br />
the deserts of Iraq and Somalia<br />
the depths of Earth's oceans<br />
the Sea of Tranquility on the Moon<br />
in Oklahoma<br />
on the sleeves of rescue workers<br />
emergency personnel<br />
volunteers<br />
on the shoulders of those who each day risk their lives to protect the public safety<br />
classrooms<br />
statehouses<br />
courtrooms<br />
churches<br />
from public buildings as a sign of our national community<br />
on missions of exploration<br />
on missions of mercy<br />
wherever else Americans strive to express their precious freedoms in the face of adversity<br />
wherever our questing spirits have been willing to venture<br />
<br />
<i><u>George W. Bush</u></i><br />
over the debris of the World Trade Center<br />
at the Pentagon<br />
on cars<br />
clothing<br />
houses<br />
hard hats<br />
during the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City<br />
<br />
<i><u>Obama</u></i><br />
on the podiums of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games<br />
the banks of Baltimore's Inner Harbor<br />
European trenches<br />
Pacific islands<br />
the deserts of Iraq<br />
the mountains of Afghanistan<br />
duty stations stretched around the globe<br />
over the institutions that sustain our Nation at home and abroad<br />
above monuments and memorials<br />
beside the halls of government<br />
capitol buildings<br />
atop skyscrapers<br />
over farmlands<br />
town squares<br />
our homes and storefronts<br />
small-town storefronts<br />
storefronts and homes<sup>3</sup><br />
<br />
And, of course, "over the land of the free and the home of the brave." To me, though, that's not just the borders of 50 states, 16 territories, and one federal district.<br />
<br />
The (French) Marquis de Lafayette rejoiced at US victory in the Revolutionary War: "America is assured her independence; mankind's cause is won, and liberty is no longer homeless on earth." Lafayette was buried in a Paris cemetery, under American soil per his request, and an American flag has flown above his grave ever since (~180 years). If the US fell of the map, liberty would not be homeless on earth. It would still have a plot in Picpus Cemetery, or at least some space on a storefront.<br />
<br />
<sub>1. I'll publish my review of <i>The Vexillologist's Reader</i> on another occasion.<br />
2. In 1986, Reagan lets us know that "in recent years, citizen awareness, interest, and appreciation of the flag and its relationship to our American heritage have increased. More American families and businesses are buying and displaying the flag."<br />
3. Obama is obsessed with storefronts.</sub><br />
<br />
You can read all the presidential proclamations at <a href="http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/proclamations.php">http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/proclamations.php</a>.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-82967795588638513272015-04-21T10:21:00.000-04:002015-04-21T10:21:22.630-04:00The Weal of the ConvertYou know what they say: Ain't no zealot like a newly-found zealot, cos a newly-found zealot don't stop.<sup>1 </sup>Someone raised in a non-Christian household may become born again and dazzle congregations of lifelong Christians. Someone raised in a fundamentalist Christian household may become a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleister_Crowley">hardcore occultist</a> and shock everyone into mistaking him for a Satanist.<br />
<br />
The zeal of the convert is not a phenomenon exclusive to religion, but can occur when someone chooses any new group identity for themselves. One argument for why converts practise so strongly is that they want to prove themselves to others in the group.<br />
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<br />
This argument was advanced in the landmark court case, <i>N.W.A v. The Police Department</i> (1988). In testimony to the presiding Judge Dre, Ice Cube exhorted everyone to disrespect law enforcement officers, particularly if pulled over for a traffic stop without reasonable suspicion, but made one exception –<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
... don't let it be a black and a white one<br />
'Cause they'll slam ya down to the street top<br />
Black police showing out for the white cop</blockquote>
The 'convert' in this case is a black man in a historically white police force. Mr Cube suggested that because the officer is himself a targeted racial minority, he will use excessive force to demonstrate he's of one mind with the majority of police, and "police think they have the authority to kill a minority". No police officers testified before Judge Dre, so we can only speculate about a black officer's defense for assaulting a black "teenager with a bit of gold and a pager". But I reckon the black cop acts to prove his loyalty not only to white cops but to himself.<br />
<br />
I think this because of the way Scots reacted to American independence in 1776. "Many influential Scots" showed out for the white cop – i.e. the English – and "seized on the American war as a means to underline their political reliability to London, deliberately contrasting their own ostentatious loyalty with American disobedience..." (<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/25630983">Colley</a>, pp. 138–9).<br />
<br />
The Scottish were new to Parliament because the British parliament was new. It was only 70 years prior that Scotland united with England<sup>2</sup> to form Great Britain, and Scotland waged <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacobite_rising_of_1745">armed rebellion</a> against Great Britain only 40 years before the Americans did. Many English<sup>3</sup> sympathised with the American cause, but the Scots who felt themselves a suspicious minority expressed "ostentatious loyalty" to demonstrate they were of one mind with the greater nation.<br />
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<br />
Scots weren't just showing out, though. They were working out their new citizenship<sup>4</sup> with the English in different ways:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
[1] Some returned home as soon as they could, deeply alienated and disillusioned. [2] Others stayed on as foreign mercenaries, taking what advantage they could from their new surroundings while remaining fundamentally aloof. [3] Still others ... were turned into perpetual exiles by the experience, feeling themselves too Scottish to settle comfortably in England, yet becoming too English ever to return to their native land. [4] But some, particularly the most successful, were able to reconcile their Scottish past with their English present by the expedient of regarding themselves as British (Colley, p. 125).</blockquote>
<div>
I'm an American. I haven't returned home from Britain as soon as I could have [1], and I don't want turn into a perpetual exile [3]. It's fun for me to pretend I'm a scab [2]:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGsUpYb-WzKDr7WTp500xFeadtYvm4LiIFCtHKtW9ntO8VfTOIW1dON48AFPpmF4eNMen1O-VH3uoayLT6xb0JNh05z4pxARKjVLJxaJg95nEkiDQH0booaqYLyhPcQLmEZFJnZhyphenhyphenvJs-K/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGsUpYb-WzKDr7WTp500xFeadtYvm4LiIFCtHKtW9ntO8VfTOIW1dON48AFPpmF4eNMen1O-VH3uoayLT6xb0JNh05z4pxARKjVLJxaJg95nEkiDQH0booaqYLyhPcQLmEZFJnZhyphenhyphenvJs-K/s1600/0.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Those fellows peculated our erstwhile positions of employment!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
But that's only a way to hide my anxiety. I don't regard myself as British and don't plan to [4], but I do want to reconcile my American past to my British present.<sup>5</sup> I feel fundamentally unsettled and will remain a little aloof until I figure out how to reconcile my nationality with my residency.<sup>6</sup><br />
<br />
Being black and a police officer or being Scottish and British are not mutually exclusive identities, and it's not necessary for a black Scotsman to resort to violence to prove himself:<br />
<br />
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<br />
Our social practices elaborate, for us and others, who we are in the world. We exercise ourselves to know who we are where we are, but belief itself can power our practice – because, thank God, our selves precede police and passports:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
For essential beauty is infinite, and, as the soul of Nature needs an endless succession of varied forms to embody her loveliness, countless faces of beauty springing forth, not any two the same, at every one of her heart-throbs; so the individual form needs an infinite change of its environments, to enable it to uncover all the phases of its loveliness.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
George MacDonald, <i>Phantastes</i></blockquote>
<br />
<sub>1. I've never heard anybody say this.</sub><br />
<sub>2. & Wales</sub><br />
<sub>3. & Welsh</sub><br />
<sub>4. subjecthood</sub><br />
<sub>5. Sometimes, I do this by professing my London present. It's easier to claim belonging in a world-class city than a new country. In fairness to my cop-out, I don't want to live anywhere else in England and would, in fact, rather live in Scotland than not-London England.</sub><br />
<sub>6. Employer sponsorship of a Tier 2 general visa would help.</sub><br />
<br /></div>
nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-84377736251690427422015-02-16T10:12:00.000-05:002015-02-16T10:12:01.182-05:00Sail the Five Cs, steer through the storms<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFnbj_XsqaWqMqfaJDWwIK5HaMkyFRYnTjY8uky2xjNQcPJGfBSufQWzp6mhG1XXIzdpThmuonsB2zYPIGSu1O9vul91_BWTyBKw1v41rJnDsYdY2cdD78XkMAyAM-4_dVlCv-UtmiHdDZ/s1600/0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFnbj_XsqaWqMqfaJDWwIK5HaMkyFRYnTjY8uky2xjNQcPJGfBSufQWzp6mhG1XXIzdpThmuonsB2zYPIGSu1O9vul91_BWTyBKw1v41rJnDsYdY2cdD78XkMAyAM-4_dVlCv-UtmiHdDZ/s1600/0.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry, Persian and Arabian. It's nothing personal.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
At speech camp, they taught us to illustrate our points using The Five Cs:<br />
<br />
<b>1. Character</b> and context<br />
<b>2. Conflict<br />
3. Choice<br />
4. Consequence<br />
5. Conclusion</b><br />
<br />
For example,<br />
<br />
1. It's 1992, and President George H.W. Bush is running for re-election against Governor Bill Clinton.<br />
2. Many undecided voters think Bush is old and out-of-touch, and he's trailing behind Clinton, the good-ol'-boy from Arkansas.<br />
3. Bush decides to stage a campaign visit to a supermarket so that voters will see him as an ordinary man. All goes well as he walks through the store, greeting employees. When shaking hands with the cashiers, however...<br />
4. Bush marvels at the red laser-beam barcode scanners, and he praises American innovation. He doesn't know that barcode scanners have been ubiquitous at checkout counters for at least 10 years. To undecided voters, the gaff confirms that President Bush is out-of-touch, and he falls further behind in the polls. Clinton will become the next president of the United States.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQpdfZosHrvaGa62LCA3Z9LYXqvkGIWp02eLEWOvldOkqbqWIuXWod2l8zEyLtrgV7M44ji4DWKPKLiupuCBgPXotDnm8O9ou51t2-tEJx8NGRgXcQPL9pAcPx0IT16sW3xHF3Q7aBxxn/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQpdfZosHrvaGa62LCA3Z9LYXqvkGIWp02eLEWOvldOkqbqWIuXWod2l8zEyLtrgV7M44ji4DWKPKLiupuCBgPXotDnm8O9ou51t2-tEJx8NGRgXcQPL9pAcPx0IT16sW3xHF3Q7aBxxn/s1600/0.jpg" height="276" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"And what is this electronic abacus you have here?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<i>5. Don't try to be someone you're not; prepare yourself before facing a challenge outside your comfort zone; go to a grocery store at least once a decade.</i><br />
<br />
The fifth C is the take-home lesson and not a part of the story, but the first four Cs are essential. Imagine this story without the second and third Cs.<br />
<br />
1. It's 1992, and President George H.W. Bush is running for re-election against Governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton.<br />
4. Undecided voters think that President Bush is old and out-of-touch, and he's behind in the polls. Clinton becomes the next president of the United States.<br />
5. Well, you can't win 'em all.<br />
<br />
Lacking conflict and choice, this is just a summary of events punctuated with a sigh. Anyone hearing this "story" will probably punctuate it themselves with a yawn.<br />
<br />
If we face it, conflict gifts us with choice, and that gives life to our own stories. Conflict sounds scary, but talking around it makes for a life full of sighs and yawns.<br />
<br />
Conflict *gasp!* challenges past choices. Consider mid-19th-century Siam. Before the king from <i>The King and I </i>supposedly danced and romanced with his British governess, he courted the British Empire.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtuH85Hlnp5JVfGapE1A9OkVmSQ_F6QcJCR11jhhCwuJT5Leh96c5UprltqHK0ARcNuMik3KF-nS60trnVtU4HvhR3C0ilq_y-0Ynp0jAuOKuNe6GNNwpj7vkK0TaW5Nm1_lRpHvI9Wd0r/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtuH85Hlnp5JVfGapE1A9OkVmSQ_F6QcJCR11jhhCwuJT5Leh96c5UprltqHK0ARcNuMik3KF-nS60trnVtU4HvhR3C0ilq_y-0Ynp0jAuOKuNe6GNNwpj7vkK0TaW5Nm1_lRpHvI9Wd0r/s1600/0.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think this is way more romantic.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
King Mongkut's predecessor, Rama III, spent his reign set against the West and its rising influence in the lands around his kingdom. On his deathbed, he warned: "There will be no more wars with Vietnam and Burma. We will have them only with the West." When Mongkut acceded to the throne, the type of neighboring conflicts which plagued his paranoid-but-prescient predecessor had not died down.<br />
<br />
The Taiping Rebellion was spreading across southern China; Hong Kong was now a British colony and in a lull between opium wars; The US had sailed warships into Tokyo and demanded Japan open for business after two centuries of seclusion.<br />
<br />
Mongkut lifted the ban on opium in 1852 and signed a monumental treaty with the British in 1855. He stopped avoiding change like the king before him had. He recognized the moment of conflict around him and chose to do something new. Historiography has judged this variously, but there were no wars with the West in the way Rama III predicted. Siam was no-one's colony.<br />
<br />
For those who aren't kings or emperors, <i>any</i> choice is still empowering. Take, for instance, the best-dressed of Brazzaville: the <a href="http://www.ozy.com/good-sht/la-sape-knows-style/30968">sapeurs</a>, clept after La Sape: "Society for the Advancement of Elegant People".<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI2ZM7EPkFpoBkt69OaqHf0ulz37EZekZ0XdMIWzrdQu62gWMlzJoX4QEenLUahgXPKxGYvi6mpWAW2vVdP_VLHQXV5hSoY5F3yku_WWBv2jAVrP2pri7__CD8rAtNxC1pgY6lZi504Opp/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Hector Madiavilla/Splash/Corbis" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI2ZM7EPkFpoBkt69OaqHf0ulz37EZekZ0XdMIWzrdQu62gWMlzJoX4QEenLUahgXPKxGYvi6mpWAW2vVdP_VLHQXV5hSoY5F3yku_WWBv2jAVrP2pri7__CD8rAtNxC1pgY6lZi504Opp/s1600/0.jpg" height="225" title="Hector Madiavilla/Splash/Corbis" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The white man may have invented clothes, but we turned it into an art." – 'King' Kester Emeneya</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
The Republic of the Congo is war-torn and depressed, but citizens put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. If you were getting up to earn your $10 for the day, which pants would you choose to put on? Armani or Gucci? I'd wear <i>Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl XLIX Champions</i> sweatpants, but I don't face the challenge of daily life in Republic of Congo, and that's not ironic fashion in Brazzaville. One sapeur explains: "Even if I don't have money in my pocket, I only need to wear a suit and tie to feel really at ease." These men choose to pay an arm and a leg to dress like they do, figuratively, and their days are brighter.<br />
<br />
When you face conflict and choose a way to deal with it, the consequences of that choice comprise the lived experience that supports your conclusions. The stories we tell ourselves form our future, and there's no life in a story with just three C's.<br />
<br />
The assumption behind all the action, the first C, is that one character enacts a story, but we're never the only character. Although we all have to answer for our own actions, we don't have to enter conflicts alone, and we don't have to make decisions by ourselves. Reckoning your actions with who's above you and who's beside you, however, is not something they teach you at speech camp.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-73699910210528971292015-01-14T09:06:00.000-05:002015-06-23T19:26:32.600-04:00Are these 7 couples REALLY still together?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznSA9m_RYnWl7R_zjmkxvtUkjR7AuELMWkk4jT4FzGsbEsot1o5i8zzHFvsNRRipTcEd7ACP6Quv7chMaCJ7uYHfDdM6Q4FjRIVtbehS6tdYs3tI1q8GcfKurnnXdVKS-NqMGKSNC3mqB/s1600/angelinabrad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznSA9m_RYnWl7R_zjmkxvtUkjR7AuELMWkk4jT4FzGsbEsot1o5i8zzHFvsNRRipTcEd7ACP6Quv7chMaCJ7uYHfDdM6Q4FjRIVtbehS6tdYs3tI1q8GcfKurnnXdVKS-NqMGKSNC3mqB/s1600/angelinabrad.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Click-baited again. No ad revenue for me again— just the satisfaction of a hit on my stats counter. Onto the honest title and real article.<br />
<hr />
<br />
<span style="color: #993303; font-size: x-large;">7 Funny Overlapping Acronyms</span><br />
<br />
<b>1. BM = Bowel movement; British Museum</b><br />
The arts editor of The Economist delivered a <a href="http://www.lse.ac.uk/newsAndMedia/videoAndAudio/channels/publicLecturesAndEvents/player.aspx?id=2725" target="">public lecture</a> at the LSE, and I fought back laughter each time she said, "I know BM best," or "BM solved the problem of overflow on weekends...." I don't go in for toilet humor, but I live to juxtapose high and low culture. Nothing is lower culture than material evacuating through colons, slumped prostrate on hospital bedsheets. I will spare you a picture.<br />
<br />
<b>2. DD = Bra size; doctor of divinity</b><br />
If braziers fit any theological study, they must form revisionist exegesis of the (X-Rated) <a href="http://www.shmoop.com/song-of-songs/sex-quotes.html">Song of Solomon</a>. But if buxom concubines in ancient Israel did wear bras, they were probably fitted according to ephahs or cubits or something, not the un-invented Roman alphabet.<br />
<br />
Perhaps I think small thoughts. Plenty of women are DDs, and many women are vicars. Statistically, someone must have both a pair and a parish.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8kvWDCSjZcYQpGVhL_xAzg28vW2a2k6_OLeUx5kR4hTdaYlp0d2Dx3ksPtCgn9NuSoxzHnMtQGgobN29Lr-o0n6Ao5ffNK1K863CmVm7njDj-0Sx84cyd_wQsP-Qt-GG6GKKP0DAOamSz/s1600/DD-Untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8kvWDCSjZcYQpGVhL_xAzg28vW2a2k6_OLeUx5kR4hTdaYlp0d2Dx3ksPtCgn9NuSoxzHnMtQGgobN29Lr-o0n6Ao5ffNK1K863CmVm7njDj-0Sx84cyd_wQsP-Qt-GG6GKKP0DAOamSz/s1600/DD-Untitled.png" width="174" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(nothing to proportion, scale, or good taste)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>3. LBC = Leading Britain's Conversation; Long Beach, California</b><br />
London has a radio station called Leading Britain's Conversation. Every Thursday, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg answers listeners' questions live on air, and the mayor of London does so on the first Tuesday of every month. These are called LBC Phone-Ins.<br />
<br />
Snoop Dogg often informs his listeners that he hails from Long Beach, California, e.g. "With so much drama in the L-B-C. It's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double-G". British politicians are many things, but cool is not one of them. I die like 5-0 every time I hear that they're on the LBC.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Nm5VtOjN_RvL49C66_78dewzwgM7r99Ez2K_kxex5whfspEeoBEM3ClZUEjhbjGCnmsGR3kDo8K6um9ReliaXxSciMJIp0ldxJSotpSXlkT5wBTewD-ZZy5doOOWKPjL_RPZ6WTbK6r9/s1600/LBC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Nm5VtOjN_RvL49C66_78dewzwgM7r99Ez2K_kxex5whfspEeoBEM3ClZUEjhbjGCnmsGR3kDo8K6um9ReliaXxSciMJIp0ldxJSotpSXlkT5wBTewD-ZZy5doOOWKPjL_RPZ6WTbK6r9/s1600/LBC.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I'm as concerned as anybody about the chronic unemployment figures in east London."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>4. NHK = Japanese news network (Nippon Hōsō Kyōkai); Dutch Reformed Church (Nederlandse Hervormde Kerk)</b><br />
This is the most obscure acronym in the list, but I think the world needs a Calvinist Hello Kitty.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie8y8vur9rU1kY9OHDMnx8oRTlvai4yqKuFnfAnX74KnGGEu8PCwC4qLJmyxokpcETEMsgiLZReCXrMzweHN4w2RUW983aH-4z_g2j4SzJAqhmUrjav9511lXQkzT-B-FlYLDj1IEcgNZH/s1600/NHK.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie8y8vur9rU1kY9OHDMnx8oRTlvai4yqKuFnfAnX74KnGGEu8PCwC4qLJmyxokpcETEMsgiLZReCXrMzweHN4w2RUW983aH-4z_g2j4SzJAqhmUrjav9511lXQkzT-B-FlYLDj1IEcgNZH/s1600/NHK.png" width="272" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Five points to whoever gets the tulip. Not everyone will get the tulip.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
American TV viewers can find NHK in the valley between PBS and C-SPAN. It's the same channel that airs Al Jazeera and BBC World News. There was no NHK on the island of Japan until national broadcast radio launched in 1925. Back when the country isolated itself from the world (1641–1853), the Dutch were the only foreign power allowed to run a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dejima">trading post</a> into the country, partly because they made no missionary efforts to reform the Japanese.<br />
<br />
<b>5. PRC = People's Republic of China; file format extension of Amazon Kindle books</b><br />
China or Amazon – which one <i>really </i>allows for freedom of speech? Wake up, sheeple, to the Amazonian wolf at your door. First they put predatory prices on print books out of pure malice for small bookshops, and then they addict us to Prime digital books that, it turns out, <a href="http://www.wired.com/2013/05/mr-know-it-all-kindle/">we don't even own</a>! What will Amazon do next? I think they should show their true colors: <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13748349">claim islands</a> in the South China Sea.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsicAW56uaPL3GNPFpIHS8YerbtoRJxkAO9c0gUP0dTQgW3VArn7sLUAywAGUX9JrGurtpyS7BuMxE7iF8MOE2Nq-Miawu48t6fjTICclxKAr3Y1JSmOfRJePgR34CuQ1nphDeRHpPXLSl/s1600/az+cn.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsicAW56uaPL3GNPFpIHS8YerbtoRJxkAO9c0gUP0dTQgW3VArn7sLUAywAGUX9JrGurtpyS7BuMxE7iF8MOE2Nq-Miawu48t6fjTICclxKAr3Y1JSmOfRJePgR34CuQ1nphDeRHpPXLSl/s1600/az+cn.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's right. Jeff Bezos wants Manila.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>6. SA = Salvation Army, Nazi brown-shirts (Sturmabteilung)</b><br />
I make no comparison. Just giving a fun fact!<br />
<br />
<b>7. STD = Sexually transmitted disease; Sigma Tau Delta International English Honor Society</b><br />
The acronym STI (sexually transmitted infection) is used more than STD, but I want to get it out there that the organization of student wordsmiths is, in abbreviation, venereal disease. To be fair, STD was not in use as a medical term until World War II. But coincidentally, Sigma Tau Delta formed the same year (1924) as the first World Health Organization <a href="http://extranet.who.int/iris/restricted/bitstream/10665/37448/1/WHO_TRS_150.pdf">multilateral treaty</a> "respecting... the treatment of venereal diseases."<br />
<br />
I've read that many college students experiment with drugs, sex, and alcohol, so there must be some who are in STD with an STD. Whom can these bookworms model? The pantheon of writers abounds with alcoholics and drug-addicts, but I'm not aware of any authors mythologized for copulating unto the point of illness. Like sophomore English majors, we can speculate without research nonetheless.<br />
<br />
Going way back, we know that Shakespeare sired a child out of wedlock and spent his career hanging around a theatre frequented by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundling">groundlings</a>. Looking at the last century, I bet The Beats didn't carry prophylactics on the road with them, and Arthur Miller was married to Marilyn Monroe. She couldn't even sing "<a href="http://youtu.be/k4SLSlSmW74">Happy Birthday</a>" without trying to seduce someone. Also in the pantheon is Hunter S. Thompson. <i>QED</i>.<br />
<br />
You may enjoy my five other Sevens:<br />
<sub><a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2014/09/7-things-you-do-that-you-wont-believe.html">7 things you do that YOU WON'T BELIEVE you used to hate</a></sub><br />
<sub><a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2014/02/7-reasonsways-to-celebrate-black.html">7 Reasons/Ways I celebrate Black History Month</a></sub><br />
<sub><a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2014/01/7-people-who-should-but-never-ever-will.html">7 People who should, but never ever will, work together</a></sub><br />
<sub><a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2013/10/things-i-lost-escaping-my-uncertain.html">7 Things I Lost Escaping My Uncertain Fate (of '07 or '08)</a></sub><br />
<sub><a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2013/07/christmas-list-in-july.html">Christmas List in July [7 items]</a></sub>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-4867730370346166702014-11-30T22:33:00.000-05:002014-11-30T22:33:46.958-05:00First as normal, then as wistfulAcknowledging that you're taking things for granted is not taking things for granted.<br />
<br />
At least, I assume this in good faith of others. That man who jaywalks across Whitehall to work is probably a good guy, despite his aggressive stride. And I excuse that person who wore a hoodie, jeans, and moccasins to dinner on the Viking cruise from Stockholm to Helsinki. I grant, even, that someone who lives in Malibu and avoids direct sunlight, if pale as a vampire, is not vampiric at heart.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_HCjmQTWqn4wBLyI32-hUSrMmLKAi22EI6iQB_VD4_qBF3CsHUgLGYZ414rPqxxbpkE9K67i2ZRcpklb02VZsooaABESkt-hddje9soS1GaZuyb7UngNerSAqwEUvC-Kmoq7yKb9lMse/s1600/wat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_HCjmQTWqn4wBLyI32-hUSrMmLKAi22EI6iQB_VD4_qBF3CsHUgLGYZ414rPqxxbpkE9K67i2ZRcpklb02VZsooaABESkt-hddje9soS1GaZuyb7UngNerSAqwEUvC-Kmoq7yKb9lMse/s1600/wat.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, no. I'm talking about three <i>different</i> people.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I suspect that someone who would do such things doesn't debase the Good as a sadist does; though perhaps satisfying his or her own need to stand out, this person is probably hiding his or her 'whelmed-ness at knowing such riches and is acclimating to having them.<br />
<br />
For our brains exercise extraordinary plasticity across environments, and real life snaps our heads out of the clouds. In <i>Elf</i>, Buddy's childlike <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6yYd6Pq7Ic" target="_blank">discovery of New York</a> had to end for the film to have a plot, and even characters in Terrence Malick movies don't stay happy forever. C.S. Lewis does describe a life of unbroken and innocent delight in <i>Perelandra</i>, but that book is set on Venus.<br />
<br />
I'm not fond of <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1033575/" target="_blank">The Descendants</a></i>, but Clooney's opening voice-over puts this better than I can:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"My friends on the mainland think just because I live in Hawaii, I live in paradise. Like a permanent vacation – we're all just out here sipping Mai Tais, shaking our hips and catching waves. Are they insane? Do they think we're immune to life? How can they possibly think our families are less screwed-up, our cancers less fatal, our heartaches less painful? Hell, I haven't been on a surfboard in 15 years. For the last 23 days, I've been living in a paradise of IVs and urine bags and tracheal tubes. Paradise? Paradise can f*** itself."</blockquote>
I hear a pensioner shouting: "Stop and smell the roses!" Indeed, sir, one must and should, but there's always stuff that needs doing elsewhere in the garden... I'll get off your lawn now.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1SQ6oYIgNd59yRxZjmDsulIO6VQaUlSe0BnF-pv8Ds6vTO9G_SrznnI7Xeiy-JrUrFZPZMo2etx6qWj5k10Ewq6F6dn60Pje7Cx4Ejo4ktwsIBD8rKiuUp_R3JycHnSTcD3xeBvbmI46T/s1600/Pepperdine+from+northwest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1SQ6oYIgNd59yRxZjmDsulIO6VQaUlSe0BnF-pv8Ds6vTO9G_SrznnI7Xeiy-JrUrFZPZMo2etx6qWj5k10Ewq6F6dn60Pje7Cx4Ejo4ktwsIBD8rKiuUp_R3JycHnSTcD3xeBvbmI46T/s1600/Pepperdine+from+northwest.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You have a thesis draft and five newspaper articles to write by tomorrow.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Life's circumstances may fall into recession, of course, and we may fall into depression irrespective of circumstances. (There's that plastic brain for you again.) But when you have to tighten your belt—or, perhaps, loosen it in fattening shame—try to keep from escapism and regret.<br />
<br />
Don't live in the past. We all saw how that messed up Cobb in <i>Inception</i>, wrecking his present and imperiling everyone around him. And don't kick your past self for all those hours you <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbezkxyOy2c" target="_blank">used to waste</a> because, be real with yourself, you'd love to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ5TRMutAn0" target="_blank">waste them again</a>. You can enjoy anew what you used to float through. If you're sitting in the dark, sigh sweetly for the hours wasted when all things were shining.<br />
<br />
<u>Bottom line</u>. I know I'm #soblessed where I am right now.<sup>1</sup> Today's bounty of fruit might run out, but I could never squeeze it all dry before that happens.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWEf1yRi6EZHKlpUOKHfUyVoiltfQt2GOA4iPWtc3HTFUEDFXMUPUP789xkH22RlZdxMbvutfhlMWXittfwkNg9IxSLAM-_nkXR_KdIPDBydoyrRfWeVXIqV-JFVjlgMOD_GXLl6qBtf-s/s1600/123.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWEf1yRi6EZHKlpUOKHfUyVoiltfQt2GOA4iPWtc3HTFUEDFXMUPUP789xkH22RlZdxMbvutfhlMWXittfwkNg9IxSLAM-_nkXR_KdIPDBydoyrRfWeVXIqV-JFVjlgMOD_GXLl6qBtf-s/s1600/123.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
That's all right. We enjoy years of plenty by living them as ordinary. If they pass, we can enjoy them nostalgically without resenting ourselves for that. First as normal, then as wistful, but always thankful.<br />
<br />
<sub>1. Meta-first-world problem: trying to acceptably phrase humblebrag-sounding circumstances when answering, "What are you doing these days?"</sub>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-89979954487096357432014-09-28T20:38:00.000-04:002014-09-29T09:36:43.372-04:00What are Kool and The Gang saying to YOU?I'm currently floating through space and time, and I hear the song 'Get Down On It' whenever I find some solid ground. I'm not playing this song, but someone is always playing it around me. Clearly, this is of cosmic significance, and I must divine the message—line by line. Success not guaranteed. I have only done this <a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2012/11/monster-mash-dissected.html">once before</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/qchPLaiKocI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Hey, hey, yeah, what you gonna do? You wanna get down?</b><br />
<b>Tell me, what you gonna do? Do you wanna get down?</b><br />
This is crisis decision-making. Do I want to risk my life and go out to Syria to stop the heinous crimes of Isis? Ought I drop everything and aid the Ebola victims in West Africa?<br />
<br />
<b>What you gonna do? You wanna get down?</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall, dance, come on</b><br />
The world has built up an edifice of ease on which we in the West could indefinitely lean, but is slouching any way to live? Complacency is no longer an option. Kool's is a pragmatic, immediate injunction, and The Gang is calling:<br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall, dance, come on</b><br />
Dance! Go forth into all the world's wallow, your heart pounding with joy... I think.<br />
<br />
<b>Get down on it, get down on it</b><br />
<b>Get down on it, get down on it</b><br />
<b>Come on and</b><br />
<b>Get down on it, get down on it</b><br />
<b>Get down on it, get down on it</b><br />
Well. I've followed you thus far, Kool, Gang, and you have inspired me. But what is it on which you want me to get down? I can tell this is your central message. Please help me understand.<br />
<br />
<b>How you gonna do it if you really don't wannna dance</b><br />
<b>By standing on the wall?</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall</b><br />
Yes, the reiteration stresses the global, existential importance to act boldly and now.<br />
<b>Tell me, how you gonna do it if you really don't wanna dance</b><br />
<b>By standing on the wall?</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall</b><br />
Ibid.<br />
<br />
<b>'Cause I heard all the people sayin'</b><br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<i>Vox populi, vox dei</i>. Whereas I assented to Kool's clarion call, I now know it to be the cry of <i>all</i> humanity. Frustrating me still, though, is the hitherto undisclosed "it" on which I'm supposed to get down.<br />
<b>Come on and</b><br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<b>If you really want it</b><br />
With the strength of Zarathustra, I do; only tell me what it is!<br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<b>You gotta feel it</b><br />
This is not just a matter of intellect or will, but the heart. Okay, I will so commit, but I still await specific instruction.<br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<i>repeat...</i><br />
<br />
<b>I say people</b><br />
<b>(What?)</b><br />
Ibid!<br />
<b>What you gonna do?</b><br />
I don't know!<br />
<b>You've gotta get on the groove</b><br />
<b>If you want your body to move, tell me, baby</b><br />
I'm gonna need you to <i>caesura </i>there, Kool. I can accept "getting on the groove" as an uncommonly enthusiastic Taoist epithet, but wanting my "body to move" is quite literal. Also, Kool, I appreciate your affection, I really do, but it's emasculating to be called "baby" at a time when I need all potency, apparently even bodily, to marshal my descent "on it."<br />
<br />
<b>How you gonna do it if you really don't wanna dance</b><br />
<b>By standing on the wall?</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall</b><br />
<b>Tell me, how you gonna do it if you really won't take a chance</b><br />
I'll take the chance if you'll tell me what it's for. Frankly, I'm losing interest.<br />
<b>By standing on the wall?</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall</b><br />
<br />
<b>'Cause I heard all the people sayin'</b><br />
Has the public cried out anew, or are you recounting the prior outcry? You seem wont to repeat.<br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<br />
<b>What you gonna do? Do you wanna get down?</b><br />
I thought I did.<br />
<b>What you gonna do?</b><br />
Tell me, "baby."<br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall, dance, come on</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall, dance, come on</b><br />
<b>Get your back up off the wall</b><br />
<br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<i>etc...</i><br />
<br />
<b>How you gonna do it if you really don't wanna dance</b><br />
<i>etc...</i><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b>Listen, baby, you know it when you dancin', yeah</b><br />
I don't know it. I really, really don't. I'm even dancing (metaphysically), and I still don't understand.<br />
<b>You show it when you move, move, move</b><br />
Demonstrable only to <i>you</i>.<br />
<b>You know it when you dancin', yeah</b><br />
<b>You show it as you move across the block</b><br />
City block, cell block, or Soviet bloc? You're raising more questions that need answers, Kool. I'm happy to shout along with The Gang, but you're not being forthcoming about what you want from me or what you want me to want.<br />
<br />
<b>Get down on it</b><br />
<i><b>...</b></i><br />
<b>What you gonna do? Do you wanna get down?</b><br />
<i>et al., </i><i>ad infinitum</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I did not find the heart of this dance hit by tearing it limb from limb. Kool and his gang indicate that I must find <i>my</i> heart by tearing it up on the dance floor with <i>my</i> limbs. Not having dance grounds, I have nevertheless removed my back from the wall and wanna get down. I remain confident that I will soon get down on it.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-15573230197684100772014-09-12T12:49:00.000-04:002014-09-30T17:05:21.623-04:007 things you do that YOU WON'T BELIEVE you used to hateThis piece is not about 'you' but me. (Joke's on you. I already got your pageview for my stats.) And of relevance to the great changes happening in my life—completing a master's degree, flat hunting, friends moving away, vocation re-focusing, starting a new service at church—this has none. So, for the fifth time, here's seven things. I've omitted cantaloupe from this list, but I didn't use to like cantaloupe.<br />
<br />
<b>1. Preferring button flies</b><br />
Buying clothes in central London poses challenges not found at the Old Navy in Danada West. Chiefly, all pants (trousers) are slim fit, and they're usually secured with button flies rather than zippers. I shuddered at these inexcusable conventions when first I dredged the TJ (TK) Maxx by The Gherkin. Now, I'm prone to tear at the zipper on my monthly-disintegrating jeans from Primark. Alas, if I owned trousers of consistent fastenings I would not suffer this cognitive dissonance, but I now prefer button flies just 'cause more of my pants use them. And because of additional Pavlovian conditioning, I now perceive straight-cut jeans as bell-bottoms. Crikey.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGU9uvgULtNIAgOBGKJW_xDXaTBf_MpaeX6HfYvDZquYtgB1FcAr9Nhjb6-VCA67mNjO_w7mo3nIU52Q0QlBdL5KWF8swRuCoeHBFMdG3exn-gZ9Z44zG5NmGxQgXRIObkLPQiP6BxSosB/s1600/Button+Fly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGU9uvgULtNIAgOBGKJW_xDXaTBf_MpaeX6HfYvDZquYtgB1FcAr9Nhjb6-VCA67mNjO_w7mo3nIU52Q0QlBdL5KWF8swRuCoeHBFMdG3exn-gZ9Z44zG5NmGxQgXRIObkLPQiP6BxSosB/s1600/Button+Fly.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is almost as good as the lip sink I shopped.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<b>2. Liking films with no plots</b><br />
This goes with difficult and opaque poetry and much borderline hipster nonsense. I don't know what happened, you guys. You go from watching Adam Sandler's <i>Jack & Jill </i>ironically, and soon you're hunting through the Guardian to see what's doing well at <a href="http://www.tiff.net/">TIFF</a>. I'm only parroting other authors when I call Thomas Jefferson a 'sphinx' and Julian Assange a 'cipher', but there is no excuse for my curating the Wikipedia page on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-irony">post-irony</a> and getting excited about <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/03/fashion/normcore-fashion-movement-or-massive-in-joke.html">normcore</a>. The worst part about sinking into these warm, murky waters is that I want to swim in them. I still ponder Rick Alverson's character study about a guy just <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1693790/">kinda living</a>; I never stop thinking about <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2112293/">The Comedy</a></i> and am genuinely excited for his next <a href="http://filmschoolrejects.com/news/gregg-turkington-entertainment.php">project</a>. In interviews, Alverson is the epitome of a self-important and self-styled auteur, and I hate that I love the work he's doing.<br />
<br />
<b>3. Letting my computer get scratched up and messily annotating texts</b><br />
Hazards and habits of doing archival and library research. There's no time for OCD at Kew or St. Pancras when you're working in the brief overlap of your waking hours with their opening hours, feeding on the precious information that sustains the life of your mind. That is, there's no time for OCD with your own items. I wouldn't dream of damaging their materials. That's a felony and a war crime.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Doing the Indian head nod</b><br />
I have not visited India. I have no friends from India. I'm not into Bollywood films. I find this expression of ambiguity annoying. But now, if I'm not politely nodding along to the banal ramblings of recent acquaintances, this is the most common way I shake my head.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GE0P1meyVYZ1csucAmC7AP5t6VyQ0x0Kpt_NX0AeUdclaGxSkMLoWr_heNSemlrncVouqlwl1yac0ralDZwjAqN5v4bp_X0Ncv4fGocSnVENBhlkN2zCeGHOjZDWZ-9aD-VZMXM0oef3/s1600/cBpib4y.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GE0P1meyVYZ1csucAmC7AP5t6VyQ0x0Kpt_NX0AeUdclaGxSkMLoWr_heNSemlrncVouqlwl1yac0ralDZwjAqN5v4bp_X0Ncv4fGocSnVENBhlkN2zCeGHOjZDWZ-9aD-VZMXM0oef3/s1600/cBpib4y.gif" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><br />
</b> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>5. Pointing with my middle finger</b><br />
I'm not 80 years old. I'm not unaware that extending the middle finger is an offensive gesture. I'm not into flipping off strangers. I find using the middle finger for any purpose socially disquieting. But now, if I'm not throwing both my thumbs up in over-eager greetings and farewells, I'm using my middle finger to navigate everyday life.</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9f_992ZosX0ZZwl4QCYy4bJ3Lg-__krqycgf4UJ1mlQMBqO5QzATaka4aatDNWJLwmlfo6tp8UAqvq5CWoI222JcX7zgYMB_LriNItu3N1AkQs4JH3p92Mx1zILsCNIeEmRKHRhT5eE6d/s1600/wat.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9f_992ZosX0ZZwl4QCYy4bJ3Lg-__krqycgf4UJ1mlQMBqO5QzATaka4aatDNWJLwmlfo6tp8UAqvq5CWoI222JcX7zgYMB_LriNItu3N1AkQs4JH3p92Mx1zILsCNIeEmRKHRhT5eE6d/s1600/wat.png" height="292" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have no idea what this means.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>6. Keeping ticket stubs</b><br />
Colin Stetson, Deltron 3030, Neil Hamburger—these are some of the artists I've enjoyed seeing and whose show's ticket stubs I've saved to use as bookmarks. None of these ticket stubs are narrow and long enough to be useful bookmarks, so I must be a hoarder. Hoarding is having one corner of one drawer stacked with six more slips of paper than you'd like, right?</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjJawTSoQe9ieLTO0aUMk26J6Kldvd613awuDR0y65uR9r79Quzra8kvOXq-b9SC7UjHFE_OH6LmchVofe0HDWbqUPPTrCbLJc1Dyh8mpsoofJ4uLWs9r_nG96djVaYyEy5oJvXbapQfeL/s1600/Twisted-Firestarter-Tenant-Hoarding-Newspapers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjJawTSoQe9ieLTO0aUMk26J6Kldvd613awuDR0y65uR9r79Quzra8kvOXq-b9SC7UjHFE_OH6LmchVofe0HDWbqUPPTrCbLJc1Dyh8mpsoofJ4uLWs9r_nG96djVaYyEy5oJvXbapQfeL/s1600/Twisted-Firestarter-Tenant-Hoarding-Newspapers.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stan Lee or Alex Trebek?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b><span style="white-space: pre;">7. </span>Drinking white wine and multiple cups of coffee</b><br />
Neither taste good or are good for you. Both are addictive but not addictions of mine. I suppose the subpoint to this one, and this whole list, is that I've shrugged off trying to understand <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/239430">"even the most minute and obvious aspects of everyday life."</a> It's all good in the hood, and it's all right 'cause it's all white. I hath been brought here safe thus far, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjQtzV9IZ0Q">that'll do, pig</a>.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-83512837465146370402014-07-01T20:41:00.000-04:002014-08-02T12:43:05.088-04:0021 _/Pizza Hut\_ jokes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv9lGMqOFrGmghYRi9kmKxMnNuEhpg1IMhBdnqKEOJ4j47z7dn3gVS16H4t_eHi6yaNGObDvlG9fUd0iLq_cs3cLxNj-eRoi2knQSYif1IUCBPV0x96TG9Fty5MYm8dPUIu_udvoCwln5j/s1600/0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv9lGMqOFrGmghYRi9kmKxMnNuEhpg1IMhBdnqKEOJ4j47z7dn3gVS16H4t_eHi6yaNGObDvlG9fUd0iLq_cs3cLxNj-eRoi2knQSYif1IUCBPV0x96TG9Fty5MYm8dPUIu_udvoCwln5j/s1600/0.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
I've hit a wall writing <i>42 Pedantic Jokes & Why They Are IMMENSELY Funny</i>. I realized most of the jokes I'd written were just puns and false cognates. I am not writing a pun book. One of the first jokes I wrote was about Pizza Hut: "What do you call a Mongolian Pizza Hut? Pizza Yurt."<i> </i>That will not be in the joke book because it's simple and bad. It's not even about Pizza Hut.<br />
<br />
Here are twenty more Pizza Hut jokes. They start bad, but get better. So, please, when you're waffling about paying $4.20 for the completed joke book, remember that this list could have been half of it, but I chose to do good by you. Move your mouse over the Pizza Hut logos for the punchlines.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">What do you call a Pizza Hut...</span></i><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">with halls of mirrors or rows of card tables?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Palace" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Palace" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">in northern Thailand or Philadelphia?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Temple" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Temple" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">in Memphis or run by Bernie Madoff?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Pyramid" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Pyramid" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">in a sketchy part of Hong Kong or popular with grizzly bears?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Den" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Den" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">that orbits beyond Neptune?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Dwarf Planet" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Dwarf Planet" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">at the North Pole?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Igloo" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Igloo" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">at the South Pole?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Research Station" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Research Station" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">in an airplane cockpit?<br />
<img alt="Pizza HUD" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza HUD" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">in the lobby of Hotel Rwanda?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Hutu" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Hutu" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">that manages social networking?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Hoot-suite" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Hoot-suite" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">that Happy Gilmore struggles with?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Putt" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Putt" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">run according to George W. Bush's foreign policy decision-making?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Gut" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Gut" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">coordinating and conjoined with another Pizza Hut?<br />
<img alt="Pizza But" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza But" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">that obviously sticks out from the rest of the community?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Jut" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Jut" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">adored piecemeal around the world despite being long past its prime?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Tut" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Tut" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">where people eat without being properly warned of the ingredients and turn violently ill?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Nut" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Nut" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">designed to warn snitches and deadbeats?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Cut" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Cut" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">that's a bastard of a bitch of a place to eat?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Mutt" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Mutt" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">is in the midst of an existential crisis?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Rutt" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Rutt" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">that has achieved enlightenment and reached nirvana?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Not" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Not" /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">from Gordium and travelling at 20<span style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana; line-height: 16px;">¼</span> inches per second?<br />
<img alt="Pizza Knot" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09JbsxfRRI0JW35cstuXDdTA3-syIqLtoNO4EoS_5svTBfXpsTI4T_9hxwVeVzNyo6oewhJ4acU4N2np5SfqjlXSIDPAluTCChob6iVTD5LzfDp3aPcTs0tD5trHNZM7UkQbDNaG7AZTn/s1600/logo_hut_normal.gif" title="Pizza Knot" /></span></li>
</ol>
nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-81257796202383139802014-06-29T13:14:00.000-04:002014-06-29T17:37:51.366-04:00Burying the Lead [sic]<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Today we're going to be discussing <b>leadership</b> and successful strategies that connect people to opportunities by using networking tools to achieve global solutions</i>.</blockquote>
No, we're not doing that. I would never do that. Don't you ever say anything like that to me. I've actually just been thinking about leading and how often I've been told I am or will be a leader. This is not a humblebrag post. You've probably all heard the same thing at some ineffectively enthusiastic welcome/training/launch event. But unlike you who are just sitting on your hands and not stepping up, <i>I'm</i> using my hands to write while not stepping up.<br />
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<i></i>In the latest <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1877832/">X-Mans movie</a>, James McAvoy plays young Professor X, and I couldn't help but identify with his character. I too live in a secluded estate with a biochemist for a butler. I spend my days dressed like Oscar Wilde cosplaying The Dude. Regular injections and Johnnie Walker Black get me through each day of exhausting idleness. But those are just the obvious, superficial reasons why I identify with Charles Xavier.<br />
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Like the not-yet-good doctor, I avoid bringing together the people I know and love, probably because I'm afraid of letting myself care too much about them. And I don't think I'm alone with James McAvoy in feeling this way, or I'd just be writing this in my secret diary. Spending a lot of time in your head doesn't just make you forget that you have a physical body that needs to move—not talking about Professor X's wheelchair—it also makes you forget that you have an emotional/spiritual/essential corpus that needs to move. You can lead from a wheelchair, but not from an intrinsic grave.<br />
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That got sappy fast. We'll zoom out to less personal discussion. The Roman dictator Cincinnatus classically demonstrates the reluctant assumption of leadership, but Cincinnatus relinquished his <i>ad hoc</i> dictatorship when the <i>hoc </i>was done. Politics is a form of leadership I don't want to think about, so I wonder about ordinary social leadership. And I mean 'social' as in groups of friends or people you know, not social as in 'society'. <b><Skip to the picture all ye who enter here.></b> The adjectival form of the latter is usually 'societal', but that's not too helpful a distinction because <i>society is itself a social construction</i>. That intellectual trope is possibly tautological and is vainly repeatable; it can lead to an endless reflexivity of questions uninterested in answers; it can also lead to a retreat into monocausality. It justifiably leaves open the question of who is doing the constructing: Us; Them; 'the patriarchy'; media; 'culture'; culture/media and patriarchy that are necessarily <i>ours </i>in that they're human and here and now and cannot exist divorced from <i>all</i> 'our' lived experience(s); said forces also somehow never inclusive of or influenced by me or mine, but<i> definitely </i>not of/by me individually or I'm totally deluded; just The Matrix and I; all of the above in a combination that leads to a shrug of the shoulders, sigh, and metaphysical defeat, complacency, or acceptance?<br />
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That got pedantic fast. I'm sorry, so here's a picture of Gerald Ford with the Queen:<br />
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Now I'll return to my original line of thought: "I wonder about ordinary social leadership." In the X-Mans movie, a bunch of people rallied around the professor because he finally surrendered his fears about leading them. He got people to join up by opening himself up, letting himself show that he cared about them. If it had been some forceful presidential campaign,* then the ex-mans wouldn't have shown up. Ordinary social leadership.<br />
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So, yeah. While you were just sitting on your hands, I <i>used</i> my hands to write this. That's almost like doing something, and maybe I'll do something too... soon.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;">*Gerald Ford wasn't elected to the presidency.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">P.S. </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">I swear the saga of my three weeks in Scandinavia is forthcoming, just like the <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/kateaurthur/girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-movie-sequels-nope">sequel</a> to </span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo</i>.</span>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-21426075249637100992014-05-09T06:53:00.000-04:002014-08-25T10:02:40.359-04:00We, the BusmenAll strike and no pay suck buses of their joy. Passing no judgement on the grievances of Underground workers or their negotiation methods, I lament the effects the Tube strikes have had on bus routes. Putt-putting through the city is as ‘London’ to me as ordering coffee from non-English-speaking baristas, and the red double-deckers have been rattled. The light of grey skies now blinding so many unearthed commuters clearly illuminates the culture clash between the Tubers and We, the Busmen.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to your new morning commute.</td></tr>
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The bus is cheaper and slower than the Tube. It is also less populated and has far more personality. Anyone with a baby buggy, wheelchair, or ‘less able to stand’ must take the bus. During rush hour in the Tube, everyone operates with limited mobility; I cannot imagine navigating that labyrinth with a handicap. All are welcome and accommodated on the bus, co-existing harmoniously. Pensioners—the vigilante free riders—do not mind students presumptuously slouching in the reserved seats nearly as much as being offered said seats. Elders and students are joined by those who cannot go without phone reception for more than ten minutes. They speak all the world’s languages on their phones, loudly and stressfully. They too form a vital part of this fleeting community.<br />
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At each stop, someone will lean in to ask if the bus goes to a particular destination. They are those ‘less able’ to read color-coded pictographs. Someone always scrambles to pay the meager fare with loose change or a Boots Advantage Card. And someone always pushes the stop button vigorously between stops or at the route terminus. All these delays and eccentricities imbue the bus with a character not found underground.<br />
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The Tube is as much a part of London’s international image as double-deckers, but ‘mind the gap’ is as much a sociological warning as a safety notice. The overwhelming majority of commuters are Tubers, over one billion per year according to TFL. Excepting tourists, the Underground is overflowing with the headphoned masses. Disillusioned middle managers, dodgy loners, and dejected students huddle together on carriages hurtling through darkness. Hope for two adjacent empty seats is the opiate of these masses.<br />
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Nevertheless, just like the underwater Gungan city and the Naboo, the Tube and streets could not live without each other. What else but the Underground map could convince newcomers that London has a logical layout? How would we know the borders of gentrification without numbered zones? Imagine the chaos if no one knew to stand on the right and walk on the left! And I don’t want to live in a world that doesn’t know the smell of sweet, carcinogenic Tube wind.<br />
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But despite their culture, when Tubers meet busmen, they invade. The crowds give me flashbacks to nightmare night buses. The ad hoc bus community I described does not exist past 8 pm, for the headphones come off at night, and the cacophony surpasses even the crowd. If you manage to get a seat amongst the city’s skulkers, you may well be sharing it with pub vomit.<br />
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The night bus really is the Bipolar Express. Besides the nightmare ride described above, for whose pickup you might wait forty minutes, there is the chance your bus will behave like a coked-up black cab—flying through normally congested streets and only stopping when YOU push the button. This might be the only time the bus outpaces the Tube.<br />
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Tubers are not the night bus crowd, but they are not the bus crowd I have grown to love. At some point the Tube will resume regular operation and travel patterns will return to normalcy, but the days I have walked my bus routes will not fade from memory. They have been better for my body and wallet, and I have matched or exceeded the speed of my buses. But I continue to look forward to boarding a double-decked horseless carriage once more, crawling down medieval cow paths hugged by Victorian facades.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-64784047359831127622014-03-21T07:04:00.000-04:002014-08-25T09:56:22.709-04:00Happy-fun-time movie reviews!: Lost, Translating, AdaptingSo I've been watching movies. Since this is such a radical<b> </b>change in my life, I've decided to share my thoughts on two recent viewings: <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0268126/">Adaptation.</a></i> and <i><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0335266/" target="">Lost in Translation</a></i>. This post is not a seven-point list full of pictures and videos, so feel free to leave now. I've already gotten a precious pageview that I can add to the other dozen for the month.<br />
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Besides their rhyming, there are obvious connections in the production of the films. Charlie Kaufman wrote the former and Spike Jonze directed. Sofia Coppola wrote and directed the latter, and the photographer-husband character is based on Spike when the two were married. Nicholas Cage, protagonist of <i>Adaptation.</i>, is first cousins with Sofia. I'm going to be referring to all the characters in these films by the names of the actors who played them. This is way more natural than character names.<br />
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The thematic connections of <i>Adaptation. </i>and <i>Lost in Translation</i> exceed the production coincidences, basically: love cures isolation and inspires. At the beginning of each film we find two characters who feel depressed. They are inadequate despite living in already established or privileged situations: Nick Cage, Meryl Streep; Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson.<br />
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The characters feel like strangers in a strange land, and not just the two in Japan. Nick Cage and Meryl Streep wander around Los Angeles, New York, and the bayou, wading through malaise. All characters are searching for a deeper, personal meaning in their lives in some way or another. They feel disconnected in what are supposed to be loving relationships. Nick Cage is the only one not married, but he's dating someone and lives with his twin brother.<br />
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No character has found a sufficient coping mechanism. Cage and Streep can't write themselves out of the rut. Murray and Johansson don't find vocational fulfillment either. Unlike naval exercises in the East China Sea, Japan is no help here.<br />
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But when the credits roll, all is well. Value in some type of one-on-one connection has inspired hope in life, and this hope is not limited to the value of that connection alone. Murray and Johansson—spoiler alert?—don't get together in the end. They nevertheless come away with a sense of renewed purpose. In both films, the fulfillment of internal emptiness is demonstrated through the classic, masculine movie trope of riding off into the sunset. This is the 21st century, so it's cars on freeways. <i>Adaptation. </i>employs this trope more faithfully, and that's fitting for a movie whose third act is supposed to ironically demonstrate good Hollywood structure. As the renowned screenplay workshop guru had told Cage: "You can have flaws, problems, but wow them in the end, and you've got a hit."<br />
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Everyone has found hope through love. Even though these are tougher films to interpret, this can be read into the titles of each film. It's by 'adapting', or "figuring out how to thrive in the world," that Cage and Streep march into the bright future. Having been briefly, rapturously 'lost' in 'translating' their love to each other across a generation in a foreign country, Murray and Johannson also enjoy respective happily-ever-afters.<br />
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I'm not hatin'. If the above paragraphs read disparagingly it's only a product of my voice which, you might not have noticed, tends toward sarcasm and irony. I empathize with all four characters and love both movies, or I wouldn't be writing this. It's just that the takeaways from each film haven't been lasting inspiration for me, and I want to explain why. Thus, as I continue to pick apart these films I'll write in the first person—also because keeping case and tense consistent while discussing two characters from two films has been as difficult as finding a nutritious non-Pret meal for less than £5.<br />
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I've been struck with inspiration several times, but this enthusiasm has not lasted. It's not that the inspiration itself did not give good direction but that I did not reinforce it with other people. Before, say, a little prince told me to 'tame' people and see with my heart, I felt distant from people. After reading those inspiring words, I eventually drifted back to a peripheral mood anyway. I was banking on the value I had stored in my mind to energize my actions. 'Principle' injunctions et. al. have not been the problem in and of themselves, but my trying to follow them in and of myself proved ineffective.</div>
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"Selflessness! Love other people! Don't be afraid to ask for help! People around you love you!" Right. Those words don't help me. There are two other films I sympathized with that show and don't tell, if briefly, application of personal inspiration.</div>
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<i>The King's Speech </i>and <i>Silver Linings Playbook </i>were my favorite movies of 2011 and 2012-3. Besides the connection I felt to each protagonist, their happily-ever-afters show more than themselves or even them with their girls. Lionel sees 'Bertie' standing with his whole family and waving to a crowd representing the adoring British nation. Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence make out on a La-Z-Boy recliner, excessively, in a house full of their friends and family socializing together in peak form. I'm not going to fault Charlie-slash-Spike or Sofia for ending their films with solo rides into the sunset. No other ending would make sense for those films. In fact, both imply a widening joy from personal revelation. But it helps to see things.</div>
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<i>King's Speech </i>and <i>Silver Linings</i> show a central relationship holding together an orbit of other revitalized people, and they imply said orbiters strengthening the center. <i>King's Speech </i>seems to indicate that the entire British Empire will benefit from George VI's victory over adversity. All this from a turnaround within oneself? Wow. I've never been so lucky as to experience that!<br />
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A personal revelation with a wider application does not a higher application make, nor does it necessarily produce love flowing throughout. I know I'll be far better off focusing more on making and letting that happen. I'm also gonna keep on watching movies, mining them for flecks of gold. Then I can acquire your precious, precious pageviews and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJPFSNu_QNs" target="">take over the world</a>.<br />
<br />nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-17808685343915765642014-02-17T21:00:00.000-05:002014-02-19T18:49:08.833-05:007 Reasons/Ways I celebrate Black History MonthIt's the shortest month of the year, and we're already more than halfway through it. For those who protest that there is no White History Month remember that there are 11 other months, and <i>tabula rasa</i> tends toward the pale in North America. I'm following <i>QI </i>criteria to only list items that are not obvious and 'quite interesting', so the following candidates will not be included: Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Samuel L. Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama... or Nicki Minaj. This is another list of seven, and also part of my apparent impulse to celebrate more minor American holidays<span style="font-size: x-small;">*</span> while abroad. I view each item as both a reason and means to celebrate.<br />
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<b>1. Blues/Jazz/R&B/Funk/Rap</b><br />
That's a roughly chronological list of genres uniquely American, i.e. African-American. When Mr. K toured our choir around Austria-Hungary we sang mostly Negro spirituals: "No one in Vienna wants to hear a bunch of Americans sing Mozart to them." But really. America has riffed on, improved, then popularized so many things not native to the land between shining seas, but the Blues—and all its musical progeny—are 'ours'. Coping under the wretched, 'Peculiar Institution' has begotten <a href="http://www.thomson.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/infographic/interactive-music-map/index.html" target="_blank">all modern music</a>. Yes, I have a playlist. It's been well reviewed.<br />
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<b>2. Lando Calrissian</b><br />
According to Wookieepedia: "Lando Calrissian was a male human professional gambler, entrepreneur, smuggler, and general throughout various points in his life." That's a lede I'd be proud to boast as my epitaph. <i>Star Trek </i>was far more socially progressive than <i>Star Wars, </i>but Lando. He runs Cloud City and is an even smoother operator than Han Solo. If it's possible, Billy Dee Williams might be even cooler:<br />
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I haven't re-watched <i>Empire Strikes Back </i>this February, but Lando is my wallpaper. If I can find some Colt 45, it's all over.<br />
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<b>3. Omar</b><br />
I'll stay in the realm of fiction for a moment (though <i>The Wire </i>is realer than reality). Omar is indisputably the best character on that best of shows, and Obama has stated that Omar is his personal favorite too. The President admitting he likes Omar, a homosexual street thug who <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmtuRRhtGQw" target="_blank">casually</a> robs drug dealers, would be controversial if it weren't a universally shared opinion. <i>The Wire </i>is full of other excellently-crafted black characters. Bunk, Daniels, and Snoop are all memorable and awesome in their own right. Stringer Bell could easily be his own item on this list. But Omar's awesome-ness holds up in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYj7q_by_2E" target="_blank">a court of law</a>.<br />
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I unbutton my rain coat for my end-of-the-day saunter to my flat door, saying to myself "Omar's coming." I lack a shotgun and the erstwhile intimidation of my beard, but Omar instills in me a confidence I would not otherwise have— and probably shouldn't have.<br />
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<b>4. Black Dynamite</b><br />
"Three fictional examples? So there are no <i>real </i>black persons worth celebrating?!" Art imitates life and life imitates art, so I don't think citing inspiration black characters is a cop out. It's worth acknowledging that Lando, Omar and Black Dynamite are all hyper-masculine, bad "shut your mouth!"s. Omar is gay, but that doesn't make him an exception here. More broadly, though, subtly noble male protagonists are not in the contemporary imaginarium anyway. O, Atticus Finch, where art thou?<br />
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Digression. This movie and protagonist are modern parodies of Blaxploitation films. All the best scenes are in the trailer. I try to remind myself to smile like Black Dynamite all year long, not just in February.<br />
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<b>5. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_deGrasse_Tyson" target="_blank">Neil deGrasse Tyson</a></b><br />
I could easily have made this whole post just the list with no explanations, because each one of these speaks for themselves. There are way too many YouTube videos of Tyson explaining astrophysics in a way that's both understandable and inspiring, so I can't pick one. Having watched them all and developed an awe for his intellect and enthusiasm, I can't stop laughing at something he never said:<br />
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<b>6. Chicken & Waffles</b><br />
Preferably Roscoe's, but this is a winning combo wherever you go. Don't knock it till you've tried it. I know a mustachioed man who once thought it sounded as wrong as fish tacos, and he is a full convert. Soul food is a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zDHSLDY0Q8" target="_blank">tall order anyway</a>, but I find I have to fast for 24 hours to properly enjoy this combination.<br />
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I wish I may and wish I might, this February to have one bite. I've heard tell it's a possible order at a 'diner' down the street from me, but I find this suspect.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglnM2kNLisGbxR3c62YpuTIXEpZlEr5JykVzp1cg0JLPD2MM4TeHn9NJmg6gTL9642iBbWkla31NsisXriJaIpyTOhrdwEzoq9kzoSgg_9netbhD7Y4sSTaFzVmL0YeB4oSsdb3ehVVDuB/s1600/Chickun+n'+Raffles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglnM2kNLisGbxR3c62YpuTIXEpZlEr5JykVzp1cg0JLPD2MM4TeHn9NJmg6gTL9642iBbWkla31NsisXriJaIpyTOhrdwEzoq9kzoSgg_9netbhD7Y4sSTaFzVmL0YeB4oSsdb3ehVVDuB/s1600/Chickun+n'+Raffles.jpg" height="323" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not to be confused with Chickun & Raffles.<br />
(I regret that this is so funny to me and so obscure. If you get and appreciate this joke please contact me so we can begin a lifelong friendship. Disclaimer: I couldn't care less about MLP in Singapore.)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><br /></b>
<b>7. Cop out</b><br />
Inserting this photo breaks the word laid down at the beginning and effectively short-changes this list by one... oh. This is actually the most representative of black history.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRlYiNDsf-z3d-SF_8wzgh0SrcDihVPc1gOR_Wj9_9GLqACbC2rBuUo7GZGf-0xPG_7sgBQkihl3e6doV6NXmM-ID86XJlewi_NuioRTAL4rB7SVseZVDt9uRC2xiBBlM1eQwoJxAO-b7g/s1600/Cool+Obama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRlYiNDsf-z3d-SF_8wzgh0SrcDihVPc1gOR_Wj9_9GLqACbC2rBuUo7GZGf-0xPG_7sgBQkihl3e6doV6NXmM-ID86XJlewi_NuioRTAL4rB7SVseZVDt9uRC2xiBBlM1eQwoJxAO-b7g/s1600/Cool+Obama.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">*Happy Presidents Day. All politics aside, this is too cool.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-26029332978721914302014-01-19T10:36:00.000-05:002014-02-02T16:24:53.015-05:007 People who should, but never ever will, work togetherHere's another list of seven. I have more lists of seven forthcoming. This is because I've decided against publishing another Amazon e-book, <i>A Series of Eleven Sevens</i>. Know that this is a great sacrifice on my part, for <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knighttime-Loop-Nathan-Stringer-ebook/dp/B00BMYDZN2/" target="_blank">Knighttime Loop</a> sales indicate that e-book would have been a <i>New York Times</i> bestseller. You get the blog posts you deserve.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, these pairings assume a level of cultural knowledge that—I've been recently and repeatedly reminded—almost no one shares. This grieves me, as it's a barrier to much communication. So I've tried to supply links to help out, but I'm guessing that's not going to be enough to appreciate all of these. WHATEVER. Take away what you will and forget what sounds like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8ssQirIelE" target="_blank">hipster nonsense</a>, while knowing that I have and hate my hipster tendencies. You're supposed to write what you know, so.<br />
<br />
<b>1. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Day" target="_blank">Charlie Day</a> & <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_Barratt" target="_blank">Julian Barratt</a> (Howard Moon)</b><br />
I would die of giddiness. Everyone's favorite character from <i>It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia </i>was very obviously the best part of <i>Horrible Bosses</i>. He was also amazing in <i>Pacific Rim</i>, his first appearance not acting manic or mentally handicapped. For his collaboration with Julian, however, he would need to act so.<br />
<br />
And Julian would need to reprise his character from <i>The Mighty Boosh. </i>Re-watching the third series, I'm struck how Vince became a total diva and overshadowed his jazz maverick, wood shop teacher counterpart. Come on, who wouldn't love to see Howard <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNgL0E2BFEM" target="_blank">crimping</a> with the creator of '<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzaVd6zl2bA" target="_blank">Dayman</a>' instead of a Camden leisure pirate? Also, it's in the cards: Charlie <i>Day </i>and Howard <i>Moon</i>. Done.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxnFlXBlDjPHNSokYa2OCycS2Mj08gD4WV-U0fFzf0agrpwW8iqqwsDUcL6g3QL7O6awr3AuaqTN5UhXwsDoSvqprHvAzAqBVCZGlQG4_W6sxGcDtEyvhn7cWG1L5twYAmHkOcvgz9UQn-/s1600/asdf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxnFlXBlDjPHNSokYa2OCycS2Mj08gD4WV-U0fFzf0agrpwW8iqqwsDUcL6g3QL7O6awr3AuaqTN5UhXwsDoSvqprHvAzAqBVCZGlQG4_W6sxGcDtEyvhn7cWG1L5twYAmHkOcvgz9UQn-/s1600/asdf.jpg" height="231" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Just so we're clear, what's your spaghetti policy here?"<br />
"I'm a man about town, Charlie. I haven't got time for spaghetti policies."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><br /></b>
<b>2. Nick Offerman & Zach Galifiankis</b><br />
Admittedly, this was stolen from a YouTube comment, though I've no idea how to cite it because of the new Google+ tyranny. The perfect situation for these two would be a father-son movie. Even though in real life Zach is a year older than Offerman, the latter is clearly the father figure. No major studio would finance a movie starring a comedic duo so physically similar, what with their beards and robust constitutions. (Number one is a far more traditional duo physically.) But I just love the idea of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufVycRhwy80" target="_blank">Alan</a> frustrating Ron Swanson's attempts to teach him <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6c7Vw6R33E" target="_blank">how to be a man</a>. Also, judging from real-life interviews with both men, anything they would do out of character would be even crazier good.<br />
<br />
<b>3. Nicki Minaj & Jill Tracy</b><br />
The pairing of the technicolor queen of hip-hop with a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae4ojyAdHKE" target="_blank">spooky</a>, probably occultist singer-songwriter would produce my ideal sound—what I hoped Janelle Monáe would sound like. 89% cacao rainbow sherbet? Yes please.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm4x4DjpMxcqW-J17JY0ZmAZCCG6EsM9TQLMo5tZzs3F8M6Osz9VXDC79tO_ns1HfE5LoPGzZe39xpZRfILBIBCBXvkrJDbVYZczPAfrizOb3qA2XA9XkK6lxOgDUZjSt6i8FQENN1fPIc/s1600/DSCN0460.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm4x4DjpMxcqW-J17JY0ZmAZCCG6EsM9TQLMo5tZzs3F8M6Osz9VXDC79tO_ns1HfE5LoPGzZe39xpZRfILBIBCBXvkrJDbVYZczPAfrizOb3qA2XA9XkK6lxOgDUZjSt6i8FQENN1fPIc/s1600/DSCN0460.jpg" height="356" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This chocolate isn't dark enough, but you get the picture.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>4. Terrence Malick & Quentin Tarantino</b><br />
He who most needs a writer meets the best writer. He who most needs an editor meets the best editor. These two auteurs are so antipodal in personality, working style, tone and subject matter I literally cannot imagine what film they would create together. Like, I've thought about it a lot and really can't. It would either be awesome or terrible, but I wish dearly it would be at all.<br />
<br />
Here's the only thing I could find that mentions both. It doesn't mash them up, but it's funny and underviewed. PG-13 as well for all those reading with your kids. For my purposes, you can stop watching at 5:35.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<b>5. Ted Kooser & Andrew Stanton</b><br />
This one's more modest. For a long time I held Ted Kooser as my favorite poet, and <i>Delights & Shadows </i>is still my favorite collection. Stanton wrote and directed <i>Finding Nemo, WALL-E, </i>and <i>Toy Story 3</i>. Kooser's observations of "the life at play in things," usually the daily and ordinary, imagined visually by Pixar would just deplete all the dopamine in my brain.<br />
<br />
<b>6. Slavoj Žižek & Maya Angelou</b><br />
Slavoj is the only popular philosopher I know of, but he <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pieE1EuSCsY" target="_blank">presents his thoughts</a> like a crack head who just got braces put on. If his applications of Kant and Marx to Edward Snowden were filtered through Angelou's velvet-cake ethos, I think the world would be a more thoughtful place. And I say that as someone who takes issues with most of their views.<br />
<br />
<b>7. Richard Nixon & <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Kropotkin" target="_blank">Peter Kropotkin</a></b><br />
Both of these great men are dead, so I will never know what this looks like. (Kissinger is alive, but there are no comparably eminent anarchists around to pair him with.) Even though I'm a huge fan of the label 'Independent' and its infinite meanings, it's now very tempting to switch this out for 'Anarcho-Realpolitik' on my Facebook profile. Regardless, Nixon/Kropotkin 2016: we can have "[world] peace with stability" and the "silent majority" can rule themselves. Their monetary policy would be a perfect paradox and should be implemented immediately.<br />
<br />
<b>BONUS: Dizzy (Benjamin Disraeli) and Izzy (Hawaiian musician)</b><br />
They rhyme.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-63296406926788581152013-10-25T12:14:00.004-04:002014-08-25T09:43:09.503-04:007 Things I Lost Escaping My Uncertain Fate (of '07 or '08)*<span style="font-size: x-small;">Editor's Note: I've never wanted this blog to be a LiveJournal, and this post comes dangerously close to reading like a diary entry. Forgive me. I'm thinking about publishing another e-book, something like "Eleven Sevens," that's a collection of unrelated essays structured as lists of seven. It's the hot way that all the kids write like now, and what I did with my <a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2013/07/christmas-list-in-july.html" target="_blank">Christmas List in July</a>. Consider this a more formal screen test.</span><br />
<br />
Settling into a new place requires some dredging up of the past: whether it's relating your medical or academic history to some doctor, binging on TV shows from the Dubya administration, or relating to new friends by sharing your story. I have a palsied grasp of my personal history, but my hand has been forced to close in on it. So, as a great professor and horrid administrator from Pepperdine once said of technology, "New and exciting things are redefining the way we live every day, but in going forward we rarely consider what we've lost."<br />
<br />
I'm told I've grown and matured since junior year of high school, and I have. I know some of those ways, so please don't feel you should respond to this piece by building me back up or anything like that. Seriously, don't. I'm merely considering what I've lost.<br />
<br />
<b>1. Prioritized public speaking and presentation</b><br />
I haven't had to seriously wear a suit in about five years. Yeah, weddings and funerals. I wore out a cheap tux singing with the <a href="http://gewchorale.org/" target="_blank">Glen Ellyn-Wheaton Chorale</a>. But I haven't had to coordinate my suit and tie, belt and shoes, or folio and biro for any of that. Was it California? Getting on a writing/academic track? I'm not sure, but solo performance-oriented situations have dropped off, and so have my performance skills.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Putzing around with Photoshop n' piracy</b><br />
I was really into computers. Not so much programming or hardware—though I knew enough to get by—but manipulating photos, music and videos into any format for presentation or recreation. I didn't clock Gladwell's 10,000 hours, but I was in the thousands. "If you don't believe me, just ask my satisfied customers!" Teachers I'd never had and tenuous acquaintances would ask for my help with their presentations. In the Excel spreadsheet I made to compare prospective colleges, Graphic Design was one of the dozen "Major" columns.<br />
<b><br />
</b> <b>3. Respect for achievement</b><br />
I was still more skeptical than cynical, so my first reaction to someone's laurels was not eye-rolling and immediate explanation of their <i>actual </i>mediocrity. I actually admired certain "successful" people in many fields. A variety of figures from Conan O'Brien and Michael Crichton to Alan Greenspan all deserved to be where they were and had earned their social influence. They were models of who I could be one day. In fact, I was ambitious to this end, I <i>would</i> be like them one day.<br />
<br />
<b>4. A fortified social circle</b><br />
I was in a... VERY tight-knit speech-choir-theater clique. We <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heren_XVII" target="_blank">Heren Zeventien</a></i> ran together and were together ALL the time. From that hub I was connected to other social nodes, some of which have survived far better than <i>le troupeau</i>. I have a few closer friends now, even some of the former pack, but I haven't had a Gang since high school. And I do still miss it.<br />
<b><br />
</b> <b>5. Unshadowed jest</b><br />
Within the Gang's fast-paced language of in-jokes, bewildering and barring to outsiders, or even the later Racist Basement, my sense of humor was never eggshell white. My "jokes" were sprinkled with dark irony, but they were not marinated in it. My humor then and now is the difference between sugar on a grapefruit and overripe Christmas fruitcake. Today even I struggle to know when I'm being serious. Whether that's good or bad, and it's probably bad, it's nonetheless bewildering and barring to outsiders. Except now I'm the only one in on it.<br />
<br />
<b>6. Habitual self-discipline</b><br />
This is akin to One and Three. Homework assigned first period? That's completed in the back of the room during second period. AP English essay deadline approaching? Outlined that nonsense during rehearsal for "It's A Wonderful Life." The theater and speech season are over? Great, I can go back to work at Cedarstone. Doing the song PowerPoints and sermon podcasts for church? There's my Key Club volunteer hours checked off. Even on a basic level, I was up, showered, and dressed every day no later than 8:30 am during the school year. In summer I'd sometimes go 40 hours before sleeping. I'm well aware all this was not the healthiest lifestyle, that I was sometimes flagellate and eventually exhausted. But I was terribly productive in all senses of those words.<br />
<br />
<b>7. Trust in the love of others</b><br />
This last one isn't a Mitch Albom thang. Promise. It's abstract, but I list it because it was already slipping away while all this other stuff was peaking. If you're performance-oriented and prone to over commit yourself, you've got some self-image issues. I was already having a hard time believing that the people around me actually cared about me apart from everything I was doing, and <i>doing <b>so well</b></i>. My teachers didn't speak highly of me just because I got A's. My friends didn't hang out with me because I made lasting contributions to the group patois. As a matter of fact, my family and church had been cheering for me since before I could speak. I still struggle to accept that I'm loved by so many, all around me, without having earned it. And I'll accept all these other losses just to work on accepting that.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*This is a riff on the title of a book Stewart Lee wrote. If you haven't gleaned that he's my favorite stand-up comic from previous posts or my Facebook and Twitter activity, I've now told you directly. I'm seeing him live on 11 November. YouTube him already.</span>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-27780673111721770442013-09-24T16:47:00.000-04:002013-11-09T15:56:35.563-05:00Three-ish Flags Over Texas<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like many things Texan the phrase “Six Flags Over Texas” is a bit larger than life and kinda overstated. Yes, throughout history six different flags have flown over different parts of what is now the loud-n-proud U.S. state of Texas; Spain, France, Mexico, Texas itself, The Confederate States, and the United States have all been there and done that. But if we’re talking in broader terms, I count three real claimants: </span><span style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Spain/Mexico, Texas, and the United States</span><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Not to sound cliche or perpetuate a stereotype--both French words--but France doesn’t really matter here except as an intermittent </span><span style="font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">nuisance</span><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Essentially, the history of Texas has been a relay race run by the aforesaid powers-- a tamale, T-bone steak, and cheeseburger bumbling from third to home at the bottom of the sixth. They’re not completely unique or drastically different foods. The steak will forever feign disgust of the others’ cheese, but they’ve all got the same meat. I’ll nevertheless treat them as such so y’all can read a better-structured narrative.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/35/Texas_flag_map.svg/1000px-Texas_flag_map.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="390" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/35/Texas_flag_map.svg/1000px-Texas_flag_map.svg.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">All the photos with flags have three too many for some reason.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1. El trabajo de los Tamales</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></b> <br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We all know nothing in America existed before white people got there, so we only have to go back 500 years to tell Texas’s beginnings. Early European settlement of the general area was a li’l back-and-forth between Spain and France. Given that today about 30 percent of the state speaks Spanish, you can guess who Juan that battle. Spaniards mixed and mingled with the millions of brown people they conquered. (Apparently, there </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">were </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">already people there!) This mass coalescence effectively begat two classes: an elite group of White Haves, and the vast majority of not-as-white Have Nots.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">All involved were Spanish-speaking Roman Catholics. The global Spanish Empire, the first one on which “the sun never set,” was great at making that happen; and it was even better at sending unholy amounts of gold and silver home to Spain. It did these things to the envy of the rest of Europe from 1492 clear into the 1800s, inspiring all the European empires that followed. But did it manage stable and responsible governments, whether at home or in the colonies? Yeah... sure, in the same way that Jeffrey Skilling was a stable and responsible manager of Enron.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span> <span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So when Napoleon Bonaparte became President and CEO of France, New Spain was not long for this world. First he let America make the bargain-basement Louisiana Purchase, kinda sorta throwing in some Spanish land. (Yes, Thomas Jefferson. 1803. AP US History.) But his ten-year strategy for growth and a greater market share entailed a corporate takeover of Europe, in which</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Spain became a big sticking point. Though España had rotated in and out of Chapter 11, it still had shiny metallic assets Napoleon kinda really needed. The icing on the cake for him was a chance to oust the Bourbon royalty, a family he had been happy to see recently expunged from France.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why does this matter to Texas? Well, as France was busy spreading </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">La Révolution</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and sending Spain’s stock into the gutter, Mexico thought it wise to split. They stated as much on 16 September 1810, and Mexico now celebrates this as its Independence Day-- </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Cinco de Mayo, though that date will come up later. So just as the U.S. celebrates 1776 but wasn’t free till 1783, Mexico’s spin-off deal took till 1821 to close. Mexico, which then encompassed Texas and the other Southwestern United States, was not alone in splitting from Spain. Almost all of Spanish-speaking Central and South America broke free at this time. It was no longer part of New Spain, but Mexico was still poorly structured and managed. And unlike the rest of née New Spain, Mexico faced the unenviable challenge of bordering the eagerly expanding United States. Nonetheless needing money, the new country swiftly invited any and all </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">empresarios</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, literally ‘entrepreneurs’, to set up shop in its northeast regional market, aka Coahuila y Tejas. The very first of these enterprising immigrants was a Virginian who brought 300 other American families with him. His name was “Stone Cold” Stephen F. Austin.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2. “How do I want my steak? Bleeding.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Despite everyone talking about learning from history there are very few hard-and-fast rules </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> learn, but this is certainly one: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Never invite foreigners into your country to just help out for a bit.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> They </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">will </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">become a problem. The severity of that problem will vary, but if your guests are stronger, richer or more numerous than you, you’ll soon be theirs: c.f. Anglo-Saxon England, Qing Dynasty China, and the diplomatically-worded origin story of Russia where the Slavs “invited” the Rus Vikings to come rule them. Incidentally, one of the only other hard-and-fast rules of history emerged after this: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Never invade Russia, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">especially </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not in winter.</span></span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus, Mexico’s invitation to their fiesta soon became a desastre. Before the 1821 empresarial invitation, only 3,500 people lived in Tejas. On the eve of Texan Independence in 1836, the population was 30,000 Anglos with 5,000 slaves stacked against about 8,000 Mexicans. These English-speaking Protestants would be damned before, if?, they spoke Spanish and followed the Pope. These immigrants didn’t speak the language, weren’t even trying to assimilate, and were taking all the jobs and land. So during this fifteen-year flood, Mexico tried to slow, restrict, and then abolish Anglo settlement as well as slavery. Legally and illegally, Anglos rich and poor kept settling in this part of Mexico. The rich slaveholders technically obeyed abolition by making their slaves sign contracts as “indentured servants for life,” laden with unpayable and heritable debt. To their credit, in strictly the financial sense, cotton was king and cattle was maybe like an earl.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remember that the foundation of Mexican government was colonial Spanish government, which government Napoleon had rocked into regional juntas ten years ago by... rocking Spain into regional juntas. The success of the American Revolution and Constitution 30ish years prior was inspiring several failed imitators. One of which was the First French Republic that Napoleon militarized and made an empire. Another was the United Mexican States (1824-1835) that General Santa Anna militarized and made an empire.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; white-space: pre-wrap;">But contrary to his present infamy, Santa Anna was not always the enemy. Both Steve Austin and Santa Anna had drummed up troops to repel a Spanish attempt at reconquest. Only Santa Anna’s actually fought, and his victory made him a hero in Mexico. Following this, Austin supported him as a check to redress grievances with the mismanaged federal government re: Anglos’ rights to immigrate, bring and hold their slaves, and pay little to no taxes or tariffs on their cotton and cattle. This really didn’t work out for three reasons.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">First, the government posted a Mexican military official to enforce these unpopular measures at Anahuac near the major port of Galveston. Oddly that Mexican military official, John “Juan” Davis Bradburn, was an American. Not just any American, but a white Virginia-born Southerner and former slave trader. Perhaps he and the colonists being of a similarly fiery breed hastened the escalation of matters through the telltale steps to outright revolt: dubious written threats or staged protests, violent retaliation by the nervous government, mounting and mutual bloodshed.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Second, Austin was away in Mexico City while all this was happening trying to moderate the colonists’ demands of the current government, and he was actually having some success. But this meant he was neither in Galveston to smooth things over between the colonists and Bradburn, nor did anyone know he was already smoothing things over with Bradburn’s bosses.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Third, proud Mexican General Santa Anna took great offence at what was happening to a fellow officer of the Mexican Army in Galveston. Finding Bradburn’s bosses too weak to respond, he did so himself-- and, at the point, why </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> militarize Mexico into an empire?</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, war were declared in Tejas. Clearly Santa Anna was no good, so Remember the Alamo on March 6th. But just imagine for a second that lots of angry Mexican immigrants attacked Fort Bliss and then retreated to a fortified Baptist church. I’m pretty sure the U.S. Army garrison wouldn’t let them just chill there till things cooled down. Anyway, Jim Bowie, William B. Travis, Davy Crockett, Sam Houston’s brothers and every other Texian, except twenty-some women and children, died at the Alamo. Three times as many Mexicans died too, but whatever cause they’re the bad guys now. Sam Houston avenged his brothers’ deaths. He defeated Mexican forces and captured Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto on 21 April 1836.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; white-space: pre-wrap;">Steve Austin died of illness in December, so Sam Houston now took the Republic-of-Texas bull by the horns. In its nine-year life, Texans spent lots of their time fighting off Comanche Indians from the northwest and still some Mexican forces from the south. But they mostly fought diplomatic battles for international recognition of both their sovereignty and ambitious border claims, claims which stretched west through New Mexico and north to Wyoming. Texan forces never controlled or settled this land, but that didn’t stop their dreams of one day extending to the Pacific. Its most contentious claim was that the Rio Grande was its southern border, whereas Mexico understand it to be the Nueces River 150 miles to the north.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">That particular border dispute became an American concern when Texas acceded to statehood in 1845, precipitating the Mexican-American War wherein the United States finally realized its own dream of extending to the Pacific. (APUSH Bonus Fact: All the manifesting of destiny beyond the Louisiana Purchase north to Seattle and south to San Diego was accomplished by the little-remembered, quietly ruthless, and 11th president, Mr. James K. Polk. He did all this in one term.) The Compromise of 1850 confirmed Texas as a slave state and confined it to its current borders, south to the Rio Grande but nowhere near as far north and west. Texans agreed to ‘surrender’ future New Mexico, Wyoming et. al. primarily so that the U.S. would assume its $10 million debt. The Compromise of 1850 also postponed the Civil War for ten more years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">This should be the start of a cheeseburger-named section about Texas as American, but it’s not. Sticking to the three foods/three flags thing, Texas was far more Texan than American through the Civil War. And let me point out that by not putting Confederate Texas in the U.S. section I’m implicitly respecting the legitimacy of secession, so try calling me a damn yankee now.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yes, Texans did secede to join the Confederacy and shared much in common with their confederates. A severe orneriness about their personal and state’s rights, surely exacerbated by lack of central air conditioning, commonality in chief. It was during the Civil War that Cinco de Mayo broke out south of the (Rio Grande) border. Remember Napoleon and the French? While, this time his nephew, Napoleon III, tried to conquer Mexico as a check to the growing power of the United States. The French won the war and installed a French puppet state in Mexico, albeit short-lived. But Mexican forces won the battle against the French on 5 May 1862. This raised Mexican spirits for a little while, but it also barred the French from sweeping back into Texas, at which point they would have joined the Confederate fight against the Union. In light of this, I’m pretty sure “The South will rise again!” doesn’t</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">jive with getting plastered on Cinco de Mayo, but far be it from me to quell either sentiment or activity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">By 1863, after two years where Texas saw very little battle on its own soil, the Union won control of the Mississippi River and effectively cut it off from the rest of the South for the rest of the war. Nevertheless, 90,000 Texans fought in gray over yonder. After the war, and unlike Amy Winehouse, Texas had to go to rehab with its confederates under the program of Reconstruction. No historian will argue that Reconstruction was successful, but it did have three outcomes all across the South: Blacks were free but not equal; Whites voted staunchly Democrat and kept Blacks from voting Lincoln Republican; both Blacks and Whites stayed poor and bitter whether at each other, the North, or both. Texas celebrates Juneteenth as the day the slaves were freed, but a lot of that freedom took another century to kick in.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. That Cheeseburger section I promised. It’s probably a Big Mac.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">All right, realtalk. Domestic growth between the Civil War and World War II doesn’t really interest me. It’s not that I find the times boring. I swoon when I study the foreign policy and financial powers of exactly this era. I’ll tell you what, Ante-global-bellum Imperialism is actually my speciality. Nevertheless, I’m bound by state law to explain what happened in Texas up till now, just as I must remain 500 feet away from Mark Cuban at all times. So here goes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cotton and cattle were still key to the Texas economy. The North’s successful blockade during the war was now lifted, and railroads soon knit the whole country together. A hurricane destroyed Galveston in 1900, so Houston popped up as a safer inland alternative that could still get things to port. It became a railroad hub. Another new railroad hub was the previously nondescript town of Dallas, a city you may have heard of. Businessmen, not Democrats entrenched in the postwar political machine, ran the city. So it soon became a center of finance and services and even erected the state’s first skyscraper. From Dallas, cows could take trains straight out of the state instead of shipping out from Houston/Galveston, though presumably not of their own accord. The farms those cows left behind were embroiled in land disputes. Both the new paths of the railways and the new use of barbed wire fences sliced up formerly free-flowing fields. Both railroads and barbed wire, while making cattle production a cash cow, ultimately signaled the death of the nation’s frontier open ranges.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">The most powerful source of growth, however, was this new thing called oil. Spectacular gushers which shot oil straight into the sky attracted young men with commensurate energy. Texas eventually out-produced both California and Oklahoma. It may sound very odd today, but Democrat control of the state meant antagonism to big oil companies. Attorney General, then Governor Jim Hogg prosecuted John D. Rockefeller for Standard Oil’s many monopolistic practices-- e.g. controlling the railroads. These were Northern Republican business interests meddling in Texas, clearly unwelcome. But whether Standard or not, oil made Texas rich right along with aforementioned cotton, cattle and finance. More accurately, these made certain Texans rich. Both the Dust Bowl and Great Depression hit most Texans hard. A whole lot of field workers went west, and a whole lot of federal New Deal programs aimed to defibrillate the state. Luckily, once again, war were declared.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">World War II was an economic godsend for the U.S. generally, Texas particularly, and Houston especially. Military bases, all varieties of technologically-advanced manufacturing, and aviation came to the state. With so many men away fighting Hitler or Hirohito, and so much new work in the cities, women, blacks and Mexicans got the jobs. With no one left to till the fields, FDR negotiated the Bracero Program with Mexico to import massive numbers of Mexicans for manual labor all over the Southwest. This program was renewed repeatedly until 1964. If you recall the first rule of history I mentioned, this massive influx of foreigners “to just help out for a bit”--like with the empresarios in Coahuila y Tejas--caused big trouble. When the white men returned from war and couldn’t find jobs, widespread discrimination against </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">todos los braceros</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> ensued. Cesar Chavez was essentially the Hispanic Martin Luther King in all this. He helped win workers’ and immigration rights across the Southwest. His birthday, March 31st, is a state holiday in Texas.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since the 1960s, air conditioning has blown all sorts of people into the Sunbelt, of which Texas is the buckle. The Lone Star State may also be the buckle of the Bible Belt and has now voted Republican in every presidential election since 1980. I guess since everything is</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">bigger in Texas, it has to wear two belts. And although Dallas witnessed the loss of one president in 1963, Texas has produced three presidents since then--LBJ, H.W. Bush, W. Bush--which is more than any other state in the last fifty years. Many new installations have joined all those military and aviation bases built during WWII, including one in Houston belonging to NASA.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today, Texas is #1 for millions, but it’s second in three big categories. It’s second in area to Alaska by a </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">lot</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">: Alaska is 240 percent bigger. I’d write that one off because, come on, nobody cares about Alaska. But more significantly, although its 26 million people annually produce $1.4 trillion, Texas is second in both population and economic output to California, which was also a republic before it was a state. But that’s a story for another day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Surprise! It’s not a relay race.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe it never was, but the tamale, T-bone, and cheeseburger are all running around Texas today. San Antonio is almost all tamale. Lying south of the Nueces, it might as well still be Mexico. Houston is much more like a corporate McTropolis, though parts are straight out of </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cops</span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Dallas-Fort Worth, however, exudes an Antebellum sensibility thoroughly wedded to Suburbia. Whereas Dallas campaigns to keep ‘normal,’ Austin proudly keeps weird. It’s the state capital and literal standard-bearer of Texas, but it shows up an island of blue each election year. This blue is the liberal and elite, and orange, University of Texas. Indeed, Austin’s hipsters and head shops could be straight out of Williamsburg-- the one in Brooklyn, not the colonial one near Busch Gardens. In fact, loads of people from Williamsburg flock annually to the ever-expanding Austin City Limits Music Festival. But don’t think for a second Austin isn’t proud to be Texan. The dome of the Texas State Capitol was not accidentally built taller than that other one in D.C.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">But it is in rural Texas, east and west and everywhere else, you’ll find the strongest Texas pride trickling down into staunch ‘Murcan patriotism, a T-bone cheeseburger. Church-going Republicans share a religious dedication to the local high school and appropriate college football team. This is a phenomenon typical to a lot of the South. In Texas, though, it is rooted in a pride of place once coequal with any country in the world. You can see a recipe for tastes unamenable to figurative tamales. Austin, that hippy Babylon, doesn’t even vote as blue as the border districts south of the Nueces. People there don’t speak English, and they like some other sport they mistakenly call football. Where are their documents?</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A bit harsh there, but this is not an indictment of Texas, the South, or even the United States. Any loyalty or group pride that makes someone “hate people they’ve never met and take credit for things they had no part in” is dangerous. Tamales, T-bones, and cheeseburgers can each be as repulsive as any other food. It’s an incredible accomplishment that all three dish around Texas today. There are very few hard-and-fast rules to learn from history, but endless truisms underpin the practice of medicine. Any registered dietician will tell you: </span><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.5; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">People on strict diets react violently to new foods.</span>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-61390160808512909822013-07-31T23:49:00.001-04:002014-08-25T09:57:29.858-04:00Christmas List in JulyThis is the last day I can post this, because apparently "Christmas in August" isn't a thing. This is my wish list of gifts you can't buy in a store or even with Amazon Prime, but I don't think MasterCard would call them "priceless" either.<br />
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<b>1. I wish Chris Christie would gain weight, grow a beard, and start wearing hats.</b> His views on the issues? Meh. No one who shares my views on the issues would ever run, the issue of choosing to serve in political office being chief among them. So to me, politics, especially presidential, are sheer pageantry. Eisenhower was the last POTUS to wear a hat, only outdoors of course, and Taft was both our last bearded and corpulent Commander-in-Chief. I've always had my finger on the pulse of the times, and I don't know any American who wouldn't vote for a guy who looked like this:</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://fearsomebeastie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Brian_Blessed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://fearsomebeastie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Brian_Blessed.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And imagine if he were wearing a hat!</td></tr>
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<b>2. I wish Rick Rubin would start a clothing line.</b> Russell Simmons (right) did it, and as the other founder of Def Jam records, Rick Rubin (left) can expect similar success. This is a corollary to the Chris Christie/Brian Blessed Principle. Who wouldn't want to look like this?</div>
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<b style="text-align: center;">3. I wish Bryan Cranston and Michael C. Hall would star in <i>The Odd Couple</i>.</b><span style="text-align: center;"> I don't care if it's stage or screen. Both their shows are ending this year, and Walter White and Dexter would make a perfect couple. Imagine how great it would be to see Walt's meth lab spill into Dexter's pristine living room. Dexter would get all mad: </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrWfBWksIYw" style="text-align: center;">"I'm a very neat monster!"</a><span style="text-align: center;"> Walt would remind him that </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMEq1mGpP5A" style="text-align: center;">he always politely knocks</a><span style="text-align: center;"> on Dexter's door. They'd fight over where to park the Pontiac Aztec and Ford Explorer. And at the end of the day, they're united by a mutual interest in not getting caught for their misdeeds— and tons of </span><strike style="text-align: center;">sexual</strike><span style="text-align: center;"> homicidal tension! </span></div>
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<b>4. I wish Edward Snowden would focus on remaking <i>The Terminal</i>.</b> He's been stuck in Moscow's Sheremetyevo International Airport for a month now because he can't go back to the United States. Tom Hanks's character was stuck in New York's JFK airport because he couldn't return to his fictional Soviet bloc country. It's just a simple Russian Reversal! I think even hard-nosed government agents would be totally won over by Snowden's heart-warming, culturally illiterate antics. Maybe he'll even fall in love with Catherine Zeta-Jones and build her a fountain. For that, though, Putin would probably lock him up for vandalism.</div>
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<b>5. I wish Scott Aukerman would change his name to Scott Spivakerman</b>, to fuse the worlds of farcical talk shows and postcolonial studies. I think people would find concepts like subalternity, the double bind, and supplementing Marxism as a means of realigning pedagogy towards the aesthetic more understandable if they were presented in the format of <i><a href="http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/70269429?strkid=1542623643_0_0&trkid=222336&movieid=70269429">Comedy Bang Bang!</a></i>. Critical interviews with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Friedman">Thomas Friedman</a> or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fareed_Zakaria">Fareed Zakaria</a>, and typical puffed-shirt celebrities, would really be enhanced with the musical oddities of sidekick <a href="http://youtu.be/F-keiPT-4M4?t=30s">Reggie Watts</a>.</div>
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<b>6. I wish Before & Afters would be respected for their inherent cultural value and rewarded financially.</b> These aren't just wordplays for <i>Wheel of Fortune</i> and <i>Jeopardy!</i> This is serious business, just like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCR_Z7Fsa3k">crimping</a>. B&A strings merit serious scholarly study, literary canonization, and concurrent renumeration at <i>least</i> as much as Lucky's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFZatmOFpns">rambling monologue</a> in <i>Waiting for Godot.</i></div>
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<a href="http://wattsupwiththat.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/kbtkn1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://wattsupwiththat.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/kbtkn1.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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"Kermit the Frog in my throat" is a good start, but what about "French Vanilla Ice Pac 12 Angry Men in Black Album"? Or even "The King of Queens of the Stone Age of Consent to Kill Bill, Volume One is the Loneliest Number Theory of Relativity Media res ipsa loquitor"!</div>
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<b>7. Amazon, Netflix, YouTube, Goodreads or OKCupid should improve their recommendations.</b> Then you would have been spared from all of this. </div>
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-75917417303728616222013-03-13T16:42:00.000-04:002013-08-07T07:36:55.948-04:0013 PG-13 Movie Review Haiku<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://bestclipartblog.com/clipart-pics/movie-clip-art-8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://bestclipartblog.com/clipart-pics/movie-clip-art-8.jpg" width="367" /></a></div><br />
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Here are 13 haiku reviews of PG-13 movies I saw when I was 13. I am releasing them on 13 March 2013 for the belated birthday of my buddy, Brian Bohr. I won’t use hashtags on these haiku. This is not <a href="http://twitter.com/haikustory" target="_blank">Twitter</a>.<br />
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<b>1. The Italian Job</b><br />
Charlize looks so hot!<br />
rest brought to you by Mini<br />
F. Gary Gray’s best<br />
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<b>2. Paycheck</b><br />
Affleck, Uma— wow<br />
Dexter plays small role as Fed<br />
he won Best Actor<br />
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<b>3. SWAT</b><br />
Sam Jackson leads team<br />
Dr Pepper! rich dumb crook<br />
women can be cops?<br />
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<b>4. Hulk</b><br />
Science, science, sci—<br />
army? green man always wins<br />
Ang Lee, not angry<br />
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<b>5. The Day After Tomorrow</b><br />
Warming means ice age<br />
“my dad, climatologist”<br />
no Minaj mammoth<br />
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<b>6. Matchstick Men</b><br />
Nick Cage plays himself<br />
Los Angeles... Miami?<br />
surprisingly good<br />
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<b>7. Starsky and Hutch</b><br />
This taught me something<br />
vintage jokes, gimmicks, car chase<br />
Dad loved this movie<br />
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<b>8. Hellboy</b><br />
Movie, stop: you’re drunk<br />
Lovecraft, cartoon, love story<br />
Rasputin makes sense<br />
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<b>9. Flight of the Phoenix</b><br />
Plane crash, no matter<br />
“water, food, let’s build new plane”<br />
why is this movie<br />
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<b>10. The Core</b><br />
Earth’s core stops spinning<br />
dig deep, nuke it (perfect tropes)<br />
Two-Face is hero<br />
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<b>11. X2</b><br />
Slash, boom, EXPENSIVE<br />
mutants can do anything<br />
mutant kids useless<br />
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<b>12. LXG</b><br />
Queen: “Crack team, stop war.”<br />
ruin ALL the good fiction!<br />
Sean Connery wins<br />
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<b>13. Daredevil</b><br />
I saved best for last<br />
blind hero, all others dumb<br />
illuminate all<br />
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Yes, I did watch all these movies. Yes, near the end I was usually alone. Yes, I often had to pay to rent them on Amazon. Yes, I expect to be reimbursed. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knighttime-Loop-ebook/dp/B00BMYDZN2/" target="_blank">Buy my book</a>. Or, watch a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ugXZIahazk" target="_blank">one-minute video</a> on why you should buy my book, and then <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Knighttime-Loop-ebook/dp/B00BMYDZN2/" target="_blank">buy my book</a>.<br />
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-87671198829900257792013-01-29T22:10:00.000-05:002014-06-20T19:40:15.646-04:00Vile-haters will be persecuted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUobWjdBi9rr_WYB96yr5qBBVqMCpmgT5ldMxu8Nn2_7eFNbqTnC1LMe4KKVU8s9VDEmcCcoINIcA3mkD3pjjh7V9GNZlrhzqEBG84JlkBGdAbq5tWiECa1hOa7IhC1NSzVDzduv2x0YH4/s1600/fem.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUobWjdBi9rr_WYB96yr5qBBVqMCpmgT5ldMxu8Nn2_7eFNbqTnC1LMe4KKVU8s9VDEmcCcoINIcA3mkD3pjjh7V9GNZlrhzqEBG84JlkBGdAbq5tWiECa1hOa7IhC1NSzVDzduv2x0YH4/s400/fem.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></div>
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I watched <i>Gangster Squad</i> and <i>Lars and the Real Girl</i> in under 48 hours, so what? Ryan Gosling is a great actor... and I really like this meme. More relevant to this post, however, is his character in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805564/">Lars and the Real Girl</a>.</div>
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Lars was a loner and didn't know how to handle his emotions, so he directed all his affections toward a sex doll he named Bianca. While he may have intended to simply take refuge in this delusion, the whole town played along with it and cared for Bianca as if she were really his girlfriend. I won't ruin the ending for you, but the Tin Man gets his heart.</div>
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In other words, Switzerland, I love you, but your neutrality is a myth. Perpetual dispassion can resemble a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei">wu wei</a> demeanor but, at least personally, is probably more of a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wall">Wall</a>. To be abidingly mild-mannered is not necessarily the same as to be apathetic. As with <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1772925/">Jiro</a>, simple daily and careful commitments (read: loving) can sum to excellence. </div>
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But what exactly is the relationship between apathy, hate and love? Fear not, I have a diagram! Granted, it’s a graphic I grabbed from Google and edited in MSPAINT, but I think it works.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpVkuCv1aDVQsWoiDhSMlKxzwvUZ2OXqQJHsIc0krdEhqvsbGxkn4sNCaCNN8EoiJBpT7s_wSDdRL-QjF_GkXk4XlzyJFl3dQfqznRL9GslXE-p_eMhXJ2aNsU-F6spp2GVB73tlnOFgUT/s1600/Wheels+of+Caring.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpVkuCv1aDVQsWoiDhSMlKxzwvUZ2OXqQJHsIc0krdEhqvsbGxkn4sNCaCNN8EoiJBpT7s_wSDdRL-QjF_GkXk4XlzyJFl3dQfqznRL9GslXE-p_eMhXJ2aNsU-F6spp2GVB73tlnOFgUT/s400/Wheels+of+Caring.png" height="293" width="400" /></a></div>
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The central vortex is literally neutral territory, and thricely powerful centrifugal force makes it impossible to stay there.</div>
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So let's go clockwise as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klaus_Teuber">Klaus</a> intended. Hate is blinding darkness (1 Peter, 1/2 Corinthians— somewhere in there) and cares so contrarily that it cannot know or refuses to see truth. I know from experience that hate can be a fun place to visit — Self: "Belle wouldn't like the Beast if he didn't transform into a handsome prince!" (Fun, if painful.) Sensible young lady: "Actually, she was hesitant to embrace him after his transformation." (So, I'm now so bitter I'm lying to support my hate.) — but it’s literally Hell to live in. Satan's curse is that he's trapped in hate, not apathy.</div>
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The end of apathy, however, is annihilation, which at least to Milton's demons in <i>Paradise Lost</i> is worse than Hell. It's difficult to imagine nothingness — Buddhists try their whole lives to — but I can't think of thoughtlessness slash apathy without recalling that scene from <i>The Fountainhead</i>. Doggedly critical journalist Ellsworth Toohey hounds Howard Roarke, the subject of his especial venom, "What do you think of me, Howard? What? Tell me!" Howard: "I don't."</div>
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Pretty certain that is crueler than hate. Howard doesn't even care or think about Ellsworth enough to hate him. And If I'm honest I see this in myself. (I try to hate it so that I might expel it from myself.) I don't often keep other people in mind and have hurt many by simply not thinking of them.</div>
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A certain incident with my roommate Paul comes to mind. I was writing and kept adding five more minutes until we would walk down to dinner together. His patience spent and his stomach screaming for even a Hot Pocket, he left without me. I, finally finished writing and finally feeling hungry, drove down past him to eat by myself then drove back up past him when I was done. That's cruelty by way of apathy. At that moment I literally had no thought or care for Paul re: his hunger. I assure you, this is something I rectified as the semester progressed.</div>
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Ambivalence and ignorance are both totally legitimate, but maintaining neutrality usually floats you out into the twelve o'clock of the circle of apathy. Admitting ignorance or apathy about a person or situation, however, is a fine start. In fact, it just might produce some feelings. Not necessarily loving feelings, but at least something to work with.</div>
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Bottom line: Caring is Quality. If you think you're largely apathetic, you're probably not letting yourself be drawn into one of the other two circles. And let's face it. It's risky to care.</div>
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-41765301681123855522013-01-17T21:38:00.000-05:002014-06-20T19:46:36.437-04:00Three Rs: Robotic Robots Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfzzzmN1rzz1YNJUS94-8bu7UQMZSvPYUs7_mbBHaHq7xvAI0t3Z6G_7NVxx3WI7q17wFzsHHyHsVMDPTv8S5vWF0plWIaEUhh4M1GG3bCLedNwUQZ6jnWoKwVNOj5aGSVFuPfT30QOf2p/s1600/3sm3nk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfzzzmN1rzz1YNJUS94-8bu7UQMZSvPYUs7_mbBHaHq7xvAI0t3Z6G_7NVxx3WI7q17wFzsHHyHsVMDPTv8S5vWF0plWIaEUhh4M1GG3bCLedNwUQZ6jnWoKwVNOj5aGSVFuPfT30QOf2p/s400/3sm3nk.jpg" height="400" width="318" /></a></div>
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The only music review I have <a href="http://pepperdine-graphic.com/music-review-pink-friday-roman-reloaded/">ever written</a> was for Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, an album whose first four tracks I then looped for the next four months. This music review is for a very different album, one crafted by the enigmatic Ethan the Robot! during his 2008 summer in Heidelberg. But while it is nearly five years old it is, in many ways, still sealed in plastic. (Plus, I only got it in like September, so it's new to me.) If you want to listen to this album, you can download it off Dropbox <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/sh/7hrmgn0bto6946b/_Bdf1J7lX_">here</a>. What follows is my track-by-track analysis capped off with a summary, one I imagine quoted on the album's packaging.</div>
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<b>1. My Electro Intro</b></div>
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The album starts with familiar enough Garage Band sound, but soon escalates into a full-fledged diddy— a microwave warm welcome to the album. It would be easy to write this track off as little more than an intro, but by its end it sounds more more like an Introitus to a Requiem than what it claims to be.</div>
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<b>2. Mr. Cricket and the Wildflower</b></div>
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This song wins for best title and best story. Clearly a quirky, single man in his early forties has found himself in the first level of Sonic the Hedgehog and, rather than racing through the technicolor landscape, has decided to take a pleasant stroll to enjoy the scenery, even the wildflowers.</div>
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<b>3. Blood Red Summer</b></div>
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The title invokes the blood red sun of the Japanese flag, but its sound is more of a lazy summer day on rural Honshu as in scenes of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0876563/">Ponyo</a> rather than the seizure-inducing speed of Tokyo life. Picnicking atop a green suburban hill with a view of the Sea of Japan, the listener can almost taste the Sapporo shandy.</div>
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<b>4. A Song I Made</b></div>
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An opaque title for a piece with a wide berth. Background chatter complements the plodding beat nicely as co-workers unwinding at the happy hour of a piano bar. This song is not boring, but is definitely ambient. The evening after a long summer day is preparation for a dark night ahead.</div>
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<b>5. I Saw One Bird Eating Another Dead Bird</b></div>
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The cannibalism in this piece is largely psychological and ex post facto. You'll find no flesh rending in the bass clef piano licks, but guilt steadily growing louder. A sapphire light shines through in the end by way of treble piano play.</div>
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<b>6. Underwater Radar Gun</b></div>
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While other pieces also spin-off Final Fantasy and Zelda soundtracks, this piece in particular feels like the inside of the Deku Tree in <i>Ocarina of Time</i>. But the Water Temple is also inside the tree, and all the overhead lighting has been updated with clean, white LED bulbs.</div>
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<b>7. Morning Rainbow I: The Life of a Baby Dinosaur</b></div>
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You can hear the small triceratops trotting gleefully through the same landscape Mr. Cricket explored in track two. But to this little dino, the land is not to be admired for its detail but rather romped through as an open playground and breathed in rigorously, euphorically.</div>
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<b>8. Morning Rainbow II: Rhythm and Instinct</b></div>
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This is mostly a straightforward rock song, even complete with guitar and drum solos. It gets back into the flow of the album near the end, squawking and beating home its electronic point.</div>
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<b>9. Morning Rainbow III: The Attack of 2212</b></div>
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I don't know what the world will be like two hundred years from now, nor who would be attacking whom then. But this song foretells swift cavalry, in all their nobility and savagery, descending upon an isolated town. I'm unsure of the exact nature of the force — podracers on laser horses? — but the townsfolk are in deep doo-doo, especially because they can't decide whether to tarry to collect their valuables or to flee immediately. Either way, I don't think it ends well for them.</div>
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<b>10. Morning Rainbow IV: Colored Rain</b></div>
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This title truly speaks for itself, and the song unfolds as a fine dessert to what has been a meal of fruit cocktails, raisins and marshmallow fluff.</div>
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<i>This album is not only perfect to take a drug-induced mid-morning nap to, but is also a great soundtrack for several hours of data entry. It’s what they played when spring rolled round in irradiated Nagasaki, and it will one day blare proudly from the loudspeakers of Disneyland Mars.</i></div>
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-43609093490152966742012-12-21T20:19:00.000-05:002013-08-07T07:37:31.907-04:00X-MASS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The seasonal TV specials we know and love — </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059026/" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Charlie Brown</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058536/" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rudolph</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064349/" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Frosty</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> — are products of the 1960s, and most popular Christmas songs — Little Drummer Boy, White Christmas and Silver Bells — are only </span><a href="http://xkcd.com/988/" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">slightly older</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. And while Sufjan Stevens has produced excellent </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=sufjan+stevens+christmas" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">original Christmas music</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in the past few years — music that's even good enough to make us forget about the new, </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0227173/" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">awful</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Christmas specials — two of my favorite carols — </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Three_Kings" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We Three Kings</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Heard_the_Bells_on_Christmas_Day" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><a href="http://www.pepperdine-graphic.com/perspectives/excessive-ing-es-prose-to-bits/" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">—</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> are products of the 1860s. Prompted by my </span><a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2012/07/happy-indie-day.html" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">July 4th venture</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, I've decided to mash these up. (The links and dashing are done now.)</span></div><span id="internal-source-marker_0.17400993243791163"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While writing this, I sang the verses to the tune of Heard the Bells and the chorus to We Three Kings, but I’m not sure how that sounds outside my head. Nevertheless, I like the image of a modern-day Zarathustra using the royal we to brainstorm gift ideas on his allegorical way to Bethlehem, even if he is really just slumped in a booth at the food court outside Panda Express, muddling tinny Christmas carols in his half-conscious mind. May your Christmas be a happy one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu4EqR2NBUnKKBWnltqzFdYic7blKtDqTQ0WJ1HjNSOr4SvvThx0RZoGgJJHdWcpyVCSowMGKXYHFEiEHhDT3ftAES3gUfomUJr9BCALlouJzV1qrVMXNZkyi2cG8gOPLzwICttFMv7z-d/s400/xmass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu4EqR2NBUnKKBWnltqzFdYic7blKtDqTQ0WJ1HjNSOr4SvvThx0RZoGgJJHdWcpyVCSowMGKXYHFEiEHhDT3ftAES3gUfomUJr9BCALlouJzV1qrVMXNZkyi2cG8gOPLzwICttFMv7z-d/s400/xmass.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
<b>We, A Sovereign, Heard the Bells</b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We heard the bells near Advent play</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To hail the light of the twelfth day</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Weight of glory</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finest story</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Show us the Most Excellent Way</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O star so wondrous, kingly bright</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The bells resound, reflect thy light</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We hear and pause, therein the cause</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Guide us through the darkest night</span></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We could buy gold, imperial worth</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Proper for this Child’s birth</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Though we are poor,</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’d want no more</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But for the Most Excellent Way</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Chorus</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Smells go with bells, make common rare</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">More precious than a woman’s hair</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To fully sense</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All matters hence</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Demands the Most Excellent Way</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Chorus</span><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Formaldehyde would work as well</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Macabre but useful at death’s knell</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The bells sound grim</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The light is dim</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Is this the Most Excellent Way?</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Chorus</span><br />
<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our gifts are not quite things persay</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Where would we buy them nowadays</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Invisible</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Invincible</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We tread the Most Excellent Way.</span></span><br />
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-68196288346682598022012-11-01T11:38:00.000-04:002015-10-31T01:42:10.769-04:00Monster Mash, DissectedI have listened to "Monster Mash" on a continuous loop every Halloween since 2009. You can mash 445 times in the 24 hours of October 31st. What follows is a fully-formed analysis of this "sad ballad" [Bader, 2011] now bursting forth from my Pickett-addled brain. I have seen the world of this song and, at the end of the day, it is good.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXSX8A21kJnYdJSs75JlmYUGHZ0P1IVO4TeeUN6FPPE5S-b8ZAMw44pVQITOTcAg_zNZdLgEI_E5UclR5_lE_ELVa1vVLIbaXyicpQ7tbwAggGrCW7WNZio7x2SA4yEpGvl_JjN1pT4Ts7/s1600/Monster_Mash_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXSX8A21kJnYdJSs75JlmYUGHZ0P1IVO4TeeUN6FPPE5S-b8ZAMw44pVQITOTcAg_zNZdLgEI_E5UclR5_lE_ELVa1vVLIbaXyicpQ7tbwAggGrCW7WNZio7x2SA4yEpGvl_JjN1pT4Ts7/s1600/Monster_Mash_cover.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b>I was working in the lab late one night </b><br />
...because he has no friends or family to go home to. Or he did once and his workaholism and scientific obsession have driven them all away. His lab and the cold, lifeless tools and creatures therein are now his only friends.<br />
<b>When my eyes beheld an eerie sight </b><br />
This archaic phrasing shows that the scientist has lost all touch with regular people and the parlance of the times. He now hides in the ivory tower of his education, ne'er deigning to visit the plebs.<br />
<b>For my monster from his slab began to rise</b><br />
His monster? So, he does have a living friend, kinda. This monster may be more fiend than friend, however. The ensuing interaction might turn lethal and finally, ironically end this scientist's now gutter-dwelling excuse for a life.<br />
<b>And suddenly to my surprise</b><br />
This can't be good.<br />
<br />
<b>He did the mash </b><br />
<b>He did the monster mash </b><br />
<b>The monster mash</b><br />
This repetition is deliberate. Clearly, the scientist is either hallucinating or in such shock that he has regressed to his nursery-rhyming youth, back when his parents were alive to love him.<br />
<b>It was a graveyard smash</b><br />
This man's own creation takes joy in desecrating the memory of the dead. To what extent is he his master’s monster?<br />
<b>He did the mash </b><br />
<b>It caught on in a flash </b><br />
Dancing mania. Now the scientist has lost bodily control and is rationalizing his fit as a growing trend in the vacant laboratory.<br />
<b>He did the mash </b><br />
<b>He did the monster mash </b><br />
More repetition. More evidence of regression.<br />
<br />
<b>From my laboratory in the castle east </b><br />
He lives in a castle, then. He must have inherited the manor from his parents, much like Bruce Wayne. But unlike Mr. Wayne, the scientist has unleashed his monster to dishonor the graves of his parents. Also, this guy is too busy spazzing out to fight crime, as if he would even want to.<br />
<b>To the master bedroom where the vampires feast </b><br />
Evidently guests do come to the house, only to be bitten by a horde of vampires that lurk in the bureaus. The scientist has gone from ungrateful loner to second-degree murderer.<br />
<b>The ghouls all came from their humble abodes </b><br />
This castle overlooks a literal ghost town. The denizens, long dead, now linger on in shapeless decay, attracted to the rare and sullen goings-on of the decrepit castle like moths to a flame.<br />
<b>To get a jolt from my electrodes </b><br />
Perhaps electroshock therapy is the only way out of all this.<br />
<br />
<b>They did the mash </b><br />
<b>They did the monster mash </b><br />
<b>The monster mash </b><br />
<b>It was a graveyard smash </b><br />
<b>They did the mash </b><br />
<b>It caught on in a flash </b><br />
<b>They did the mash </b><br />
<b>They did the monster mash </b><br />
This may be premature, but I think things are looking up. The congress of ghouls and vampires in the laboratory is an impromptu community. Though none of these dancers have souls, this is the most social contact the scientist has had in years. Robot chicken soup for his soul!<br />
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<br />
<b>The zombies were having fun </b><br />
When zombies are the life of a party, you know something's off. I'm concerned that there isn't enough room in this laboratory for all these dancers. On the other hand, this castle has probably never been up to the fire code.<br />
<b>The party had just begun </b><br />
<b>The guests included Wolf Man</b><br />
The local werewolf feels the need to affirm his masculinity.<br />
<b>Dracula and his son</b><br />
Ah yes, the first evidence of relationship in this tale, besides the subtextual references to the scientist's former family. Presumably, Drac was feasting with the other vampires in the master bedroom, instructing his son in the family business—an attempt to connect with him during weekend custody—when he decided they could do for some dancing. I haven't heard of too many father-son dances, but hey: different strokes for different undead folks.<br />
<br />
<b>The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds </b><br />
Lingo like this tells me that the scientist is picking up on the language of the people of 1962. Perhaps there is hope for him!<br />
<b>Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds </b><br />
So the scientist has had an assistant all along who has now stepped out of his master's shadow and is pursuing a solo career. Let's hope he's more successful than Garfunkel, and also that the agitated dogs don't jeopardize the safety of this party.<br />
<b>The coffin-bangers were about to arrive </b><br />
Necrophiles or more grave-desecrators?<br />
<b>With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"</b><br />
Giving The Backstreet Boys a run for their money, no doubt.<br />
<br />
<b>They played the mash </b><br />
<b>They played the monster mash </b><br />
<b>The monster mash </b><br />
<b>It was a graveyard smash </b><br />
<b>They played the mash </b><br />
<b>It caught on in a flash </b><br />
<b>They played the mash </b><br />
<b>They played the monster mash </b><br />
What started as one monster's sad shuffling is now a hit single being played by a live band. I take back what I said before. This is now a legitimate party.<br />
<br />
<b>Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring</b><br />
Was he hiding from his son in there?<br />
<b>Seems he was troubled by just one thing</b><br />
That he doesn't have full custody?<br />
<b>He opened the lid and shook his fist </b><br />
"When I was your age..."<br />
<b>And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?" </b><br />
Oh dear. He's remembering the one party he attended in college with the cool kids and the dance they did. It's 1962, Drac. The kids don't do the Transylvania Twist anymore. Also, Transylvania Twist would be a good name for a Halloween cocktail.<br />
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<br />
<b>It's now the mash </b><br />
<b>It's</b><b> now the monster mash </b><br />
<b>The monster mash </b><br />
<b>And it's a graveyard smash </b><br />
<b>It's now the mash </b><br />
<b>It's caught on in a flash </b><br />
<b>It's now the mash </b><br />
<b>It's now the monster mash </b><br />
Okay, no need to rub it in. Drac is behind the times, but that's no reason to embarrass him in front of his son.<br />
<br />
<b>Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band </b><br />
That was fast.<br />
<b>And my monster mash is the hit of the land </b><br />
I don't know if the scientist's claim to ownership of his monster's song will hold up in court.<br />
<b>For you, the living, this mash was meant too </b><br />
I appreciate that!<br />
<br />
<b>When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you </b><br />
Okay, let's not go too far here. No one is coming to your door. We've established that your castle is on the edge of a ghoul-infested village. Also, Boris? The only Borises I know are <a href="http://www.last.fm/user/boris78">Nikhil Iyengar</a> and Boris Yeltsin, and I don't think the first president of the Russian Federation is in the habit of hosting parties where the living can mingle with the dead. Then again, he did ensure the average Russian would forever live with the death of both communism and nascent capitalism.<br />
<br />
<b>Then you can mash </b><br />
<b>Then you can monster mash </b><br />
<b>The monster mash </b><br />
<b>And do my graveyard smash </b><br />
He's really harping that this song is his.<br />
<b>Then you can mash </b><br />
<b>You'll catch on in a flash </b><br />
Yes, thank you. I too have confidence in my ability to learn quickly a dance crafted by an oversized lab rat.<br />
<b>Then you can mash </b><br />
<b>Then you can monster mash</b><br />
And that's what it's all about. Much like the hokey pokey, the monster mash has become a way for a man to turn himself around. Most of his new friends lack souls, but they're a good start. He is now eagerly awaiting living persons to knock on his door and enter.nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-22647067656215264112012-10-20T23:56:00.000-04:002014-06-20T19:25:52.619-04:00The Doch-Ness, monster?<span id="internal-source-marker_0.357061029644683"><span style="font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">James Tanizaki </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Praise_of_Shadows" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">praises shadows</span></a><span style="vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and I do too. I realize that his aesthetic treatise is more about appreciating shadowy nuances in the face of glaring modernity than about dwelling in utter darkness, and that his given name wasn’t James. Nevertheless, </span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I</span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">’</span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">ve</span><span style="font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;"> noticed quite a bit of backlash from people to certain other people (read: Nathan) hanging out in the dark. “Men love darkness because their deeds are evil.” It’s a subtle, biblical backlash but a palpable one.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span></b><b id="internal-source-marker_0.357061029644683" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Logically, we probably should be concerned for those who spend a lot of time in the dark, but I don’t think that makes physical darkness necessarily bad. For just as stillness helps you </span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to hear better, darkness can help you to see better.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will not appeal to the Tao or the Force to justify spiritual darkness. Metaphysically, darkness is very real and very present and is not necessarily good. I’m more interested in justifying aesthetic and literal darkness, which I don’t think is necessarily bad.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If everything we do is metaphysically important in only the most immediately obvious way, turning on a light is a little act of creation. Why else would people so often accompany their light switch flipping with an affected James Earl Jones intonation of “Let there be light!” (Maybe that was just me, a few years ago before I was into darkness.) Or perhaps turning on a light is not just symbolic of creation but redemption. To transform a room that was once black and frightening into a warm and welcoming environment is surely good. The things in the room have not physically changed but have taken on new life. If these are reasons why you appreciate keeping the lights on, okay. But I’ve found that there is also something lost in the illumination.</span></b></span><br />
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</span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the end of Arthur C. Clarke’s </span><span style="font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2010: Odyssey Two </span><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">— SPOILER ALERT — criminals and lovers have to adjust their schedules to account for the second sun now parked where Jupiter used to orbit. This is supposed to be an inspiring, fresh start in our solar system, but it’s also a tad unnerving. No more darkness? </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Darkness, aesthetically, can represent melancholy and anguish. Those are not good, but they are real and should not be ignored. Yet aesthetic darkness is not necessarily a total downer either. While it can be peaceful and comforting when near and known, the distant darkness, because unknown, holds terrors, blessings and all else we put there. It’s exciting, the great </span><a href="http://www.pepperdine-graphic.com/perspectives/if-beyonca%C2%A9-were-to-fight-stefani/"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">if</span></a><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. The edge of any light is the beginning of a frontier, and maybe it’s the American in me but I need to keep that open. </span></b></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://mannerofspeaking.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/black1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://mannerofspeaking.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/black1.gif" height="266" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">???</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I swear I’m not an emo, but I like rainy days and long winter nights. Besides being a statement that probably wouldn’t go over too well in a personal ad, this might just be a little fad. Perhaps I’m just jazzed about experiencing a full winter for the first time in five years. On the other hand, I’ve thought for some time that I wouldn’t mind living in Iceland. Not only are the modern-day Vikings </span><a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/08/iceland-superlative-happiness-on-a-cold-little-rock/261005/"><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">really happy</span></a><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and producing </span><span style="color: #1155cc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCjjgDSJqUI" target="_blank">excellent music</a></span><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, they appreciate light more because they spend so much time in the dark.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Almost all of the universe is absolutely freezing and utterly black, and it’s short-sighted — pardon the pun? — to focus exclusively on the little lights in front of our faces.</span></b></span><br />
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-13991732920535293052012-09-22T11:23:00.000-04:002014-11-30T14:06:04.000-05:00Of Dice & Men: The Asinine, the Divine<b id="internal-source-marker_0.43965640920214355" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I recently started rewatching </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sherlock </span><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">with my parents and realized my idea of how good the show is somewhat exceeds how good it really is. It’s still excellent, but I'm a tad disappointed. Why do media routinely not live up to the idea I have of them? And if my idea feels so secure, why does simply rewatching that show or re-reading that book bring it down? </span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Both seasons are now on Netflix, and if you skip the second episode of each season you won't miss anything.</td></tr>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes, I am totally convinced of the merit of materialism: what you see is what you get. Other times, I side with the highly evolved juror robots in Futurama’s “A Clockwork Origin” who refuse to rule on Planet Express’s case: “We have evolved to a higher state of consciousness. In the grand scheme, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out.”</span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In this episode they were actually on another planet, but I love their depiction of Earth Supreme Court.</td></tr>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Paradoxically, man is simultaneously animal and spiritual, so stuff visible and invisible matters to us totally at the same time. My evidence to explain this interaction is necessarily anecdotal, but then again my evidence here always is.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sometimes ideas are so strong they end up manifesting themselves. I’m pretty sure British historian Niall Ferguson’s second wife is just a manifestation of his academic obsession. Ferguson writes extensively on the history of the West and how great he thinks it is, so when he met a Somali-born Dutch MP who loved the West as much as he did, he left his wife of 24 years and married her. The exotic is erotic and can be even more attractive when it affirms you, but listen to the very scholastic way Ferguson praises his wife Ayaan:</span></b><br />
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<span style="vertical-align: baseline;">To see and hear how she understands western philosophy, how she understands the great thinkers of the Enlightenment, of the 19th-century liberal era, is a great privilege, because she sees it with a clarity and freshness of perspective that's really hard for us to match. So much of liberalism in its classical sense is taken for granted in the west today and even disrespected. </span></blockquote>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t claim to understand their relationship, but that sounds to me like he may be more in love with the idea he has of Ayaan rather than who she really is. In a similar way, love for the idea of something can abide despite what it’s really like. Cubs fans, bless their hearts, root for their lovable losers even as they know many of their players will be unsatisfactory.</span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://mlblogsvineline.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/milton20bradley20flub1.jpg%3fw=472&h=640" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://mlblogsvineline.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/milton20bradley20flub1.jpg%3fw=472&h=640" height="640" width="472" /></a></td></tr>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Other times, physical and chemical action can affects ideas. In the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Opium-Realitys-Dr-Thomas-Dormandy/dp/0300175329" target="_blank">book</a> I read on the history of opium, the author quoted an 1840 New York Times article that claimed alcohol encouraged the lower and more animal instincts in a man whereas opium heightened the higher and more spiritual feelings. I don’t have personal experience with both drugs to make this comparison, but if you do please let me know.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">More simply, eating and drinking with anyone and generally just spending time with them brings you closer together. Ecumenical conferences are forever trying to get quarreling Christians—be they Catholics, Quakers or Koreans</span></b><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">—</span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to take communion together but can’t. On a lighter note, compromise arguably stopped happening in Washington when congressmen were able to fly back to their constituencies every weekend, not congregating with all their fellow congressman in Washington in restaurants or bars. It is, after all, much harder to filibuster the bill of someone you ate, drank and laughed with on Saturday night.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m no metaphysician, but I know that both the animal and spiritual matter a lot, and I would argue simultaneously so. Are </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">V for Vendetta</span><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and </span><span style="font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Amadeus</span><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> perfect movies? No, but the ideas I see the movies represent keep me rewatching them every November and December 5th. Am I the same person if I weigh 11 stone or 21? Persons are moving targets, but I think I am Nathan whether I’m emaciated or husky. Be that as it may, I know I feel better and think differently when I’m on the lower end of that spectrum. (I’ve read that voters find overweight politicians more trustworthy, but as I’m not running for office I think I could stand to lose a few pounds.) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’re not dogs, and we’re not logic machines. We’re human, and our absolutely peculiar ability to exist both spiritually and physically should not be disheartening or vexing, but inspiring. Now I’m going to go grab a dirty chai so I can write trivia questions about modern African history.</span></b><br />
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-42850208191353433982012-08-15T20:29:00.000-04:002013-08-07T07:38:28.881-04:00No one harms, so no surprises<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Bored, I found the sheet music to Radiohead's “No Surprises” to memorize the two-measure hook on my learner’s keyboard. It’s my favorite Radiohead song, and I sing what I know of it daily. Typically, I don’t listen to the original recording, with which Stewart Lee <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty4g_N61tXM">ends</a> the second series of his <i>Comedy Vehicle. </i>No, I have consigned Radiohead (and the Beatles) to Bob Dylan status: I fully recognize their incredible musicality but only enjoy listening to covers of their songs. Thus, I listen to either the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShEqdWaS50Q">Radiodread version</a> or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXKDL6WD9CQ">Regina Spektor's cover</a>. The latter is the second track of the mix CD in my car, right after “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5jw9lmAZNE" target="_blank">Jerusalem</a>.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">While this song may be vaguely suicidal, I would prefer to liken it to Pink Floyd’s “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj7pDNDuoJ0" target="_blank">Comfortably Numb</a>.” To blend lyrics from the two songs: “You look so tired, unhappy / Bring down the government / They don't, they don't speak for us / I'll take a quiet life / A handshake of carbon monoxide / And no alarms and no surprises / I... have become comfortably numb.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">All very upbeat, encouraging stuff! Ennui is not new to me as I’m sure it isn’t to any of you, but Roger Waters remembers a different MO in the last verse of his song: “When I was a child / I caught a fleeting glimpse / Out of the corner of my eye,” right before he stamps it out at song’s end. I’m interested in that fleeting glimpse.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I just finished <i>The Last Unicorn</i> and identified with King Haggard. Even as he was undone he simply laughed “as though he had expected it” because “very little ever surprised [him].” I keep my room at least as dark as Haggard kept his castle, my costs as low and my company as sparse; but, as I’m not interested in unicorn genocide, I don’t take our similarities lightly. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Haggard thought he knew everything there was to know, even though he didn’t. I don’t have delusions of omniscience, but I’m sure Haggard and I aren’t alone in finding everyday life boring. If I do essentially the same thing each day; and, as Mark Twain observed, current events really do rhyme with history, what can I reasonably expect to surprise me?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Roger Scruton’s Very Short Introduction to Beauty comes to the rescue once again. He deftly distinguishes between the energy of disinterest and the emptiness of no interest. He argues that pleasure in beauty is disinterested:</div><blockquote class="tr_bq">When I read a poem, my pleasure depends upon no interest other than my interest in <i>this</i>, the very object that is before my mind. Of course, other interest <i>feed into </i>my interest in the poem: my interest in military strategy draws me to the <i>Iliad</i>, my interest gardens to <i>Paradise Lost</i>. But the pleasure in a poem’s beauty is the result of an interest in <i>it</i>, for the very thing that it is.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">But his next claim is, appropriately, more interesting:</div><blockquote class="tr_bq">The pleasure in beauty is <i>curious</i>: it aims to understand its object, and to <b>value</b> what it finds.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The italics are his, but I bolded value.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I've already written about <a href="http://nostringer.blogspot.com/2012/06/swaddle-that-kahntekst.html" target="_blank">finding beauty in everyday life</a>, but I was more concerned with rationally assessing and recording quality aesthetics. I didn’t think to be curious for <i>value</i>! Now, I’m neither an Existentialist nor a Taoist, but I subscribe more to the latter philosophy regarding value. I think that while we have great imaginative powers to <i>invent</i> valuable things, we more often <i>discover</i> value that has already been created. The italicizing and bolding is over now, I swear.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMdmAXDFo40xVgvr6xQBmUpQ0KatOERji8YbJ9Qnon2Nx6RpR5SzCuSpyueoDm6b4MBZuYjakM7a0erq3ZAPghQEzSjAqdyCrfw9OIh-IPcGdHBSxA-SQbMlfnEr7esWvXg_QNYrjWwS2/s1600/books.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMdmAXDFo40xVgvr6xQBmUpQ0KatOERji8YbJ9Qnon2Nx6RpR5SzCuSpyueoDm6b4MBZuYjakM7a0erq3ZAPghQEzSjAqdyCrfw9OIh-IPcGdHBSxA-SQbMlfnEr7esWvXg_QNYrjWwS2/s400/books.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just read them</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal">In short, I have been comfortably numb and have enjoyed no alarms and no surprises for some time. And I, probably mistakenly, believe I understand most things around me. But I know I haven’t cared to value what I find.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Living during an information glut, you grow to assume very little will hold value. If you stop there you will be bored at best and apathetic at worst. But not expecting much to hold value means finding value will be surprising, will be more than “just a little pin prick... to keep you going through the show.” You will not intone empty appraisals as the speaker in “No Surprises” does, but you will be able to genuinely and affectionately speak his words, “Such a pretty house, and such a pretty garden.” Understanding something is a fine step, but valuing what you find is, in Richard E. Kim’s words, “a small beginning.”<o:p></o:p></div><script>
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</script>nostringerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268311930903762745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7683882071615409016.post-62852914624177267992012-08-01T20:12:00.000-04:002014-11-01T10:03:58.108-04:00A History of the Engrish-Speaking Peoples<br />
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<span lang="EN-US">UC Irvine is a fine institution, and it’s predominately Asian. Take for instance the Ayala Science Library. Its art deco exterior screams “Murcah!” loudly enough for the nearby Ayn Rand Institute to hear, but inside sits a disturbingly stereotypical number of Asians doing what Americans believe they do best — studying. </span><span lang="EN-US">I’m well aware of the studious Asian stereotype, and I’m not interested in blindly perpetuating stereotypes. But I went to Ayala and it is, in fact, filled with Asians.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Very white — and not a smoker, cellist or online gamer — I definitely stuck out when I went to the library one Friday in June to play sudoku and listen to folk rock. But there is an art to blending in by sticking out, and I was able to use my whiteness as a cloak under which I could spy on some Asians.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Holed up in a carrel with my headphones in but my Zune on mute, feigning interest in a box that seemed to hold an irrational number, I spied three students playing a board game at the adjacent table. They had backpacks with them and a few textbooks open, but these sat undisturbed. Evidently, they still had to bring study materials to the library on a Friday night, even to play a board game.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">What bode ill for my progress through my sudoku book became the night’s entertainment; I was familiar with the board game they were playing. It was Klaus Teuber’s The Settlers of Catan, a fine game that’s a blend of Risk and Monopoly. Players build settlements and cities on hexes of different resources and reap them according to the dice, connecting their properties with roads. Between the sheep, ore, wood, brick and wheat available on the board, Catan has a diverse political economy. Throw in the resource-stealing and production-blocking robber, special development cards — many of which are knights that can move the robber — and the straightforward objective to get to 10 points, and you have yourself a game.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKnWijCHsRRYhIee9EIiSLHt2WzfphA5M5Xiq9ph-oCVCp5I7yR1Ne_XA6sZMrxa_PnXfgHgq724ZlO0LPiXYdPKwRkxUhYGhJ7c8O2cFau1MN6AxuVEuugk3R6LZjj_rcmj8kkbClQ9IA/s1600/Catan+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKnWijCHsRRYhIee9EIiSLHt2WzfphA5M5Xiq9ph-oCVCp5I7yR1Ne_XA6sZMrxa_PnXfgHgq724ZlO0LPiXYdPKwRkxUhYGhJ7c8O2cFau1MN6AxuVEuugk3R6LZjj_rcmj8kkbClQ9IA/s400/Catan+3.jpg" height="290" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Imagine this, but instead of two white boys in a kitchen think three Asians in a library.</td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US">I started watching their game at about 6 pm, which as an Anglophile I prefer to express as 1800, and got the sense they had all been there quite a while. One guy, who I heard the others call Peter, was dominating the table.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Peter, an average-sized man with glasses, had positioned himself brilliantly at the start of the game. That much was clear to me. He was settled on diverse resources and good odds. He reaped often and was able to negotiate the terms of his trades. Plus, he already had the Longest Road, which is worth two points. Things were not so good for the other two players.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">The only woman at the table, Christiana, was living off the fat of Peter’s lands, and appeared happy to just be in the game. Or maybe she was just generally an optimistic person. I couldn’t tell.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">The third player, a lanky guy with bleached hair called Michael, seemed to be trying to replicate Peter’s winning strategy. Nevertheless, he kept squandering all his resources on buying knights to protect from the robber. He definitely had the two points for having the Largest Army.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">But the 1800th hour of that Friday passed quickly, and just after 6:30 the board looked shockingly different. Despite having been so well-positioned at the start, Peter had lost the lead to Michael. Both particle physicists and sociologists know that observing a phenomenon alters it, and I fear I may have affected the game by my longing gaze: I do love to settle Catan.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">For, by this time, I was not the only other person watching these three settle. I noticed a surprising number of other Caucasians walking around Ayala, some even butting into the game. I didn’t realize the game was popular enough that these strangers would know how to play it, but they seemed very confident.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Michael listened to everything any passerby might say. One guy in a Rammstein shirt stopped for a moment and casually said, “You need more ore,” before walking off. Just like that Michael built a new settlement, quickly upgraded it to a city and began reaping even more ore.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Peter seemed genuinely troubled by the outside activity around the game, and I can’t admit I blamed him. Anyone could just walk right up to the game and speak their minds. One debonair but silent blond walked by the table, took a stack of Peter’s cards and left a box of cigarettes in its place. Peter, in that wide-eyed but stoically tight-lipped Asian expression of great discomfort, promptly lit one up. I was shocked to see someone smoking indoors, in a public building in southern California no less! Peter didn’t look like a smoker, but he now had more cigarettes than resources. What was he to do.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.marketplace.org/sites/marketplace.org/files/styles/primary-image-610x340/public/WWW/data/images/repository/2009/08/28/20090828_chinese_guy_smoking_88615034_18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.marketplace.org/sites/marketplace.org/files/styles/primary-image-610x340/public/WWW/data/images/repository/2009/08/28/20090828_chinese_guy_smoking_88615034_18.jpg" height="222" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But this guy looks curious. Peter looked defeated.</td></tr>
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<span lang="EN-US">Passing the seven o’clock hour, the game only grew more lopsided. Now Michael was really gouging Christiana on trades, and he occupied some of the ports on the coastline adjacent to Peter’s properties, encouraging him to continue smoking and causing him great distress besides. Each turn Peter pursued a new strategy to regain his lead, and each turn the dice dashed his plans to bits. Because Peter’s lead had been so great in the beginning, his stagnating position at this point was even more dramatic. Christiana had not yet led the game that I had seen.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">And things got worse before they got better. Though Michael’s knights had gone by the wayside in the six o’clock hour, his interest in amassing them had not. Each turn, his knights would move the robber to one of Peter and Christiana’s most precious spaces and block it. He would then take the card owed him and continue progressing to that now very real possibility of game’s end.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">It was about 7:30, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. Giving up all pretense of completing my puzzle and appreciating Beck’s early work, I removed my earbuds and walked over to the table. I immediately told Peter how I thought he could get back at Michael, and then I set to work on Michael. I know it was against the rules, but I quickly removed two of Michael’s cities. This set him back four whole points and seemed to crush the spirit that had driven his expansion since about 6:45.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">The game now looked far less lopsided, but it wasn’t to my liking. Peter had stopped smoking, which was definitely good. But he had abandoned the brilliant strategy I had devised for him, allocating his resources in ways I would never. Pacifying Michael really boosted my confidence, so I decided to help out Christiana. (Really, I just didn’t want anyone else to get involved.) But as soon as my plans for her began to unfold, Peter struck back. He did not like the idea of me being there at all; and I, on Christiana’s behalf of course, played many knights back and forth with Peter. In the end I decided it wasn’t worth the effort and left Christiana and Peter, the former of which started buying many knights herself.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">It was now 7:45ish, and the game looked new once again. Everything I had said in passing to Christiana and Peter was gospel to Michael. He began quizzing me on strategies I had used in the past, and even though he still bought knights when I had told him not to he was mainly focused on building up his side of the board. He wasn’t interested in building the longest road, but he definitely wanted the most extensive network of roads.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">And even though I disagreed with how Peter was playing the game, we were at peace. Christiana’s settlements near Peter’s property were not reaping anything at all, but her more distant cities were doing nearly as well as Michael’s.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Just after eight o’clock, everyone had at least seven or eight points. Michael had not built anything in quite some time, and Christiana’s adjacent cities looked as prosperous as his now aging ones. But the other half of Christiana’s pieces, those by Peter’s, were still not reaping. And for reasons I still don’t quite understand, Peter’s strategy had put him back in the lead, edging out Michael. Christiana and Michael’s strategies made sense to me, maybe largely because they were so similar to my own. But I've never seen anyone settle Catan like Peter and do so well.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Having spent far too much time in the library doing far too little, I left. It was a Friday night after all. I had to get home to browse Wikipedia and listen to NPR. Those three are still settling so far as I know.</span></div>
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