July 01, 2014

21 _/Pizza Hut\_ jokes


I've hit a wall writing 42 Pedantic Jokes & Why They Are IMMENSELY Funny. I realized most of the jokes I'd written were just puns and false cognates. I am not writing a pun book. One of the first jokes I wrote was about Pizza Hut: "What do you call a Mongolian Pizza Hut? Pizza Yurt." That will not be in the joke book because it's simple and bad. It's not even about Pizza Hut.

Here are twenty more Pizza Hut jokes. They start bad, but get better. So, please, when you're waffling about paying $4.20 for the completed joke book, remember that this list could have been half of it, but I chose to do good by you. Move your mouse over the Pizza Hut logos for the punchlines.

What do you call a Pizza Hut...
  1. with halls of mirrors or rows of card tables?
    Pizza Palace
  2. in northern Thailand or Philadelphia?
    Pizza Temple
  3. in Memphis or run by Bernie Madoff?
    Pizza Pyramid
  4. in a sketchy part of Hong Kong or popular with grizzly bears?
    Pizza Den
  5. that orbits beyond Neptune?
    Pizza Dwarf Planet
  6. at the North Pole?
    Pizza Igloo
  7. at the South Pole?
    Pizza Research Station
  8. in an airplane cockpit?
    Pizza HUD
  9. in the lobby of Hotel Rwanda?
    Pizza Hutu
  10. that manages social networking?
    Pizza Hoot-suite
  11. that Happy Gilmore struggles with?
    Pizza Putt
  12. run according to George W. Bush's foreign policy decision-making?
    Pizza Gut
  13. coordinating and conjoined with another Pizza Hut?
    Pizza But
  14. that obviously sticks out from the rest of the community?
    Pizza Jut
  15. adored piecemeal around the world despite being long past its prime?
    Pizza Tut
  16. where people eat without being properly warned of the ingredients and turn violently ill?
    Pizza Nut
  17. designed to warn snitches and deadbeats?
    Pizza Cut
  18. that's a bastard of a bitch of a place to eat?
    Pizza Mutt
  19. is in the midst of an existential crisis?
    Pizza Rutt
  20. that has achieved enlightenment and reached nirvana?
    Pizza Not
  21. from Gordium and travelling at 20¼ inches per second?
    Pizza Knot

2 comments:

  1. Pizza Yurt.... Literally the best mongol-related joke. You should do a purposely bad standup called "history is fun!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Hey, guys. Where are you from? How are we doing tonight? I hope better than the immigrants from Ireland during the 1840s Potato Famine!" *silence* "Wow, what a great audience! Thanks for coming out tonight."

    ReplyDelete